Enduring Scars
by Gibbsredhoodie
Summary: Sometimes there are scars that can't be healed by time or distance. When everything falls apart for Gibbs and Abby, and their casual relationship is suddenly not enough, Gibbs does the only thing he can to save himself from further heartache...he runs. Gibbs/Abby pairing.
1. Running Scared

**Enduring Scars**

Rating: T

Pairing: Gibbs/Abby

Disclaimer: NCIS, it's characters etc are not mine, this is purely for fun.

Timeline: Set during season 4, after Gibbs returns from Mexico and his 'retirement' and went back to work at NCIS.

* * *

**Chapter 1 – Running Scared**

It was the all-consuming sense of loneliness that struck him first, followed by the despair of feeling lost and not knowing how to find his way home, to where he belonged.

It was as if everything he knew and loved had been taken away from him and he was powerless to stop it.

Waves gently crashed onto the shore behind him, the usually calming sound of them breaking doing little to sooth the inner turmoil raging through his head and heart.

He'd left everything behind, at least for a while, and retreated to a place where he knew he could find the solitude he needed.

Although that isolation came with a price...in the form of Mike Franks, who now sat reclining on a deck chair, staring up at him with an unmistakable look of disbelief in his eyes.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you probie, but I didn't think you'd be back so soon."

Gibbs threw his bag down on the decking with a heavy sigh, noticing the collection of empty beer bottles next to Mike's chair. For mid-afternoon, Mike had already made a decent start on his daily alcohol intake, and Gibbs was certain with the way he felt it wouldn't take him long to catch up.

"Needed to get away for a bit."

Gibbs collapsed into the vacant chair beside Mike, closing his eyes against the harshness of the sun as his head fell back.

The instant he closed his eyelids, Gibbs saw her flash into his mind and he tried to bite back the heartache that he'd been fighting against for days.

She was the reason he was here, and she was the one who was slowly beginning to tear him apart inside.

Abby, his girl, without even realizing what she was doing, had taken over his life.

She was at the forefront of his thoughts every waking hour, and she consumed his dreams when he managed to sleep. She had become everything to him, but Gibbs couldn't have her, not like he wanted. He was willing to give her everything he had left to give, but why would she ever want a man still dealing with the fragments of his past, who had nothing to offer but himself?

"That director of yours isn't givin' you grief already is she?" Mike asked, bringing Gibbs out of his thoughts.

"Always, it's what she does best," Gibbs smirked, trying to hide his hurt.

Even with the history between he and Jenny Shepard, Gibbs had complete faith in her ability to do her job. They butted heads frequently and weren't afraid to make their opinions clear, but it was what kept them on their toes and Gibbs had never been one to let authority stop him, not when he knew he was right.

"But it's not why you're here?" Mike prompted, sitting forward in his chair to look at Gibbs.

"Nope."

"Well are you gonna tell me why you're here then? And don't say it's to see me...my Gibbs bullshit meter still functions perfectly even after a few drinks."

Gibbs turned to face Mike, his mentor's expression unreadable apart from the determined stare. "You always interrogate your guests like this the minute they arrive?"

Mike lifted the bottle in his hand to his mouth, swallowing the remainder of his beer. "You ain't no guest probie, and the sooner you give me an answer, the sooner we can get some peace and quiet and I can get back to drinkin'."

Gibbs looked out onto the ocean, the water and sky meeting up in the far distance. The endlessness of the various shades of blue provided him with nothing but more emptiness. He had no idea how to answer Mike. He wasn't ready to talk about what had happened with Abby and he also wasn't sure if he wanted to admit deep down that what he had with her was over. Letting her go wouldn't be easy and the longer he thought about it, the more it tore at his heart.

"Guess you're gonna be waiting for that next beer for a while then," Gibbs finally answered, stretching his arms up and linking his fingers behind his head.

Mike rolled his eyes and got to his feet before retreating inside. Gibbs heard the fridge open, followed by the sound of clinking bottles. He wasn't sure getting drunk was the best option, but for now he had no better ideas on how he could forget Abby.

Lowering one of his hands, he tried to massage some of the tension from his forehead with his thumb and forefinger. If he was completely honest with himself, Gibbs knew he didn't want to forget her...he never could, it was more about changing how he thought and felt about her. He needed to get some perspective on where Abby fit into his life and he couldn't do that if he had to see her every day.

He and Abby had only been seeing each other for a couple of months, though they hadn't actually been in a relationship. It was purely physical, or at least that was the way it had started, Gibbs had had feelings for her for a while.

After pieces of his memory had started to come back while he'd been staying with Mike in Mexico, he slowly became aware of the connection he had with Abby before the accident. Dealing with the loss of Shannon and Kelly again had caused him almost unbearable pain that he didn't think he'd be able to survive, but through all the agony, Abby had begun to filter into his heart. He started to remember the way he felt about her, and those emotions and reactions he had towards her only continued to get stronger.

It was that same intense pull that Abby had over him that had been his downfall. All it had taken was a hug and a kiss from her one night after a difficult case had been closed and Gibbs had been unable to stop himself.

He'd been working down in his basement when Abby had dropped in to check he was okay, the warmth and softness of her body pressing into his as she'd tried to ease the day's tension had instantly shattered his self-control. Consumed by his desire for her, Gibbs had given in to his need and in a flurry of discarded clothing, hungry kisses and urgent touching they'd ended up having sex against his boat.

Since then, they'd been together many times, though neither of them had said where they thought things were going between them. Gibbs had been too scared that he'd push her away if he told her he wanted more than something physical, so he'd kept his mouth shut, content to accept whatever Abby was willing to give him just so he could be with her.

Twisting his neck to look up at Mike when he sensed the older man looming behind him, Gibbs took the beer he offered and quickly removed the cap so he could have a mouthful.

"Must've been a long trip." Mike raised his eyebrow as he watched Gibbs gulp down the cold drink.

"Yep."

"Left in a hurry too by the looks of ya."

Franks looked him over, prompting Gibbs to look down on himself. He'd been in such a rush to leave before anyone noticed he was gone, that he still had on the clothes he'd worn to work the day before. He'd called Jenny from the airport once he'd managed to get a flight, merely telling her he was taking a week off for personal reasons. His cell phone had been switched off ever since.

"What can I say, your company is so enlightening I couldn't wait to get here." Gibbs took another swig from his beer, hoping the cool liquid would soon start to ease his anxiety.

"What, or who, you running from, Gibbs?"

The question took Gibbs by surprise and he almost choked on his beer. Clearing his throat roughly he sat forward on the chair to try and buy himself some time.

Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea after all.

"My own stupidity..." he mumbled, hoping that would be enough to satisfy Mike. If he knew that neither of them was under any kind of physical threat, he might let the issue drop.

But unfortunately Mike had other ideas, and as much as Gibbs had come to stay with Mike to have some time away from Abby, he couldn't help but subconsciously wonder if he was seeking out Franks' guidance in trying to get over his feelings for Abby.

"Did you tell her how you felt?"

Gibbs shook his head; was he really that predictable when it came to Abby? He should've known Mike would figure out the cause of his distress.

What most people feared, Gibbs lived with on a daily basis, it was the things he had no control over that scared him more, and Mike had known him long enough to understand exactly what those things were.

He felt the sharp pain of regret and anguish pierce right through him at Mike's words. If only it was that simple.

Gibbs rested his elbows on his knees, his fingers sliding across the glass bottle in his hand. Because his feelings for Abby had first surfaced last time he was in Mexico, Mike had been there to watch on as Gibbs tried to work his way through the realization that he was in love with her.

"It's not that easy," Gibbs admitted quietly.

"Course it is, you always make things more difficult than they need to be."

"I tried..." Gibbs trailed off when he wasn't sure how to tell Mike he'd been sleeping with Abby and because of that, and his hidden feelings for her, their friendship had suffered in the process.

Mike Franks was by no means a saint, but it was his thoughts of Abby that Gibbs didn't want tainted. As far as Gibbs was concerned he only had himself to blame for everything that had happened with Abby. By trying to get closer he'd pushed her away...and that had been his main reason for not telling her how he really felt. If Gibbs told her he was in love with her, there was every chance she'd want nothing to do with him. He couldn't take the rejection from her.

"Tried what probie? All I know is that you're here and she's not...you actually care about her, unlike the three ex Mrs Gibbs', but you're gonna let her go just as easily."

Gibbs wasn't even sure that she was his to let go. Once he'd started to become aware of the ramifications of them having sex but trying to remain distant, he knew he had to put an end to what they were doing. He wanted her as a partner, but if he couldn't have that he needed her as a friend.

As much as he was drawn to her body and all the pleasure it brought him, Gibbs craved the special bond he'd always had with her heart and mind...and the longer they enjoyed the needs of their bodies, the more Gibbs felt that bond weakening.

He'd been waiting on a sign from Abby, something to show him that what they had was more than physical. But as each day went on, Abby gave no indication that she needed or wanted anything more than what she was getting.

He'd taken small amounts of comfort during their times together, but the longer it went on the harder Gibbs tried to put up walls to protect himself. He tried to distance himself emotionally in the hopes that one day Abby would return his feelings, but weeks later it seemed like the things he wanted so badly to see were never going to happen.

Still reeling from the events of the last few months, Gibbs found his courage to risk everything to be with her had abandoned him. So he dwelled on it, brooded on it, until it got to the stage where he was unable to cope with it.

It was obvious to him the strain they were putting on their friendship was beginning to take its toll. They'd had misunderstandings and meaningless arguments about the most trivial things both at work and after hours, and it was the last thing Gibbs wanted.

Abby would always be special to him, and he refused to let his lack of control drive her away from him. Gibbs didn't want her to be another casualty of his insecurities and self-doubt...he had to do what was best for her.

A week ago he'd told Abby that they couldn't be together like this anymore and that outside work he needed some time apart from her. What he couldn't tell her was why; that he constantly waged a war within himself, overcome by numbness because he had to hold so much in, while at the same time his emotions were thrown into chaos because he felt so much.

He'd never be able to forget the look of confusion on her beautiful face when he'd said he needed space, the way her shoulders had sagged and she seemed frozen in place. Her eyes had glazed over and Gibbs knew it was taking all of her effort to hold back tears.

She'd always felt things deeply, but by ending things now it would save them both even greater devastation later. While she might be upset the physical part of their relationship was over, Abby would get over it...she'd get over not having that with him anymore.

In theory, Gibbs had no doubt their separation would give him the time to clear his head as well return their friendship to its previous state. But in reality, it had done the opposite. Gibbs knew he'd upset her with his sudden change of heart, and their distance from one another during the last week had only served to exacerbate his possessiveness of her.

While he'd spent hours brooding in his basement, Abby had gone out at night...and Gibbs assumed, on dates as well. The speed in which he thought she'd replaced him had churned in his gut, tormenting his already fractured state of mind until he could take it no more and his jealousy won out.

He had been waiting on the stairs to her apartment when she got home last night, his intentions and what he was going to say to her unclear even to himself until the words had actually left his mouth. What had started off as an argument about Gibbs mistrusting her, and Abby accusing him of shutting her out had ended in fast and furious sex on the floor of Abby's apartment.

Gibbs knew it had to be the last time, so once he'd carried her into bed and watched her fall asleep he'd left to go home and pack a bag. Leaving Abby wasn't what he wanted, but things needed to go back to the way they were. He had to protect her, even if that meant saving her from himself.

Downing the rest of his beer in one go Gibbs sighed as he collapsed back in his chair. "Don't wanna let her go, but she's moving on...I need to do the same, or I'll lose her completely."

TBC...


	2. Trying To Forget

**Chapter 2 - Trying To Forget**

Massaging the tensed muscles of the back of his neck with his fingers, Gibbs forced his eyes to stay open as the warm water ran down over his head. His other hand held him propped up from the wall of the shower cubicle, keeping his tired and aching body upright and steady when all he wanted to do was lie down.

But he couldn't lie down...couldn't close his eyes because of what he'd see...who he'd see.

He'd sat out with Mike on the deck chairs, drowning his sorrows in a couple more beers before he'd decided a shower might make him feel more human. But as the water continued to massage his already aching head, he knew the part of himself that he wanted to let go of couldn't even be washed away by a tidal wave.

Mike had tried to pressure him for information on what had happened and while Gibbs had managed to either ignore him or skirt around the truth, he knew it would only be a matter of time before he'd slip up or yell at his mentor in anger. But what could he say that wouldn't make him feel more dejected and embarrassed than he already did.

He'd taken something wonderful; one of the most important and solid friendships of his life and destroyed it...all because he couldn't keep his hands to himself.

He could still remember the taste and scent of her, her soft curves and creamy skin that drove him out of his mind. The way she moaned, screamed and begged with every touch, and how she never seemed to get enough of him.

At first there had been a sense of apprehension during their times together, which had gradually turned into a desperate urgency. He knew how she liked to be touched, his hands and mouth sending her hurtling to the edge of her desire before their bodies joined to give them both the release they craved.

While they'd talked about their lives and the things that happened around them, an undefined awkwardness fell over them if they strayed too close to talking about what it was they were doing...and where it was going.

Gibbs could sense an uneasiness in Abby that he wanted to ask her about but was too afraid of what her answer might be.

Even though Gibbs found himself being torn apart inside, it didn't stop his need for her, and it was a need which he'd found impossible to ignore. If Abby was happy and it was only him that was hurting, he thought he could cope, but he'd been wrong.

Turning off the water Gibbs stepped out of the shower and reached for his towel. He dried his face and hair, then worked his way downwards before putting on a loose fitting dark blue t-shirt and a pair of cargo shorts. He ran his fingers through his wet hair, not bothering to brush it since it was only he and Mike there.

Walking back out onto the porch a few minutes later he smelled the steaks Mike had cooking on the grill. Gibbs passed the older man a beer, before taking the cap off his own and taking in the quiet surroundings.

"You gonna tell me what happened, or are we gonna do this dance all night?" Mike asked, his rough voice breaking through the silence.

Gibbs sat down on the steps, looking out into the dark night and sighed. "I screwed up, nothin' else to tell."

"Thought we had it all under control when you left last time."

Gibbs turned to look at Mike, his eyebrow raised at his choice of words. "_We_ did, but thinking something and doing it are two different things."

During the four months Gibbs had stayed with Mike after losing his memory, they had slowly rebuilt some of the shattered pieces of his past. Gibbs doubted whether he would ever fully regain all of his memories, but slowly the things that had been important to him had returned with Mike's help.

Dealing with the grief of losing Shannon and Kelly while later realizing he'd had feelings for Abby had almost destroyed him. He felt confused, and as if he was tarnishing the memories of his dead wife and daughter by admitting he was in love with Abby.

After numerous hours drinking and talking, or what passed for talking between he and Mike, Gibbs had decided to return to DC to give himself a chance with Abby.

Only it hadn't quite worked out that way.

They'd ended up together, but Gibbs' fear of losing her and the guilt that still plagued him had kept their relationship from being the meaningful bond he wanted it so badly to be.

Gibbs wasn't surprised Abby hadn't told him she wanted more; his conflicting emotions were a drain on every part of his life, so he could only imagine how exhausting it was for her.

Abby deserved better than this, better than him.

"All ya had to do was tell her how you felt," Mike grumbled as Gibbs turned away from him again. "You love her don't you, probie?"

Gibbs didn't say anything, his jaw clenching tightly, though he wasn't surprised when Mike continued.

"If you didn't care about her so much, you wouldn't be here."

"Didn't say I don't care about her..."

If anything, Gibbs felt like he cared about her too much, at least for the type of relationship they were having before he'd left. If they had made a commitment to each other then his emotions would be completely normal, but they hadn't made any promises, and Gibbs knew it was his fault for getting so attached to her.

"You've been through some pretty bad stuff Gibbs, faced some of the meanest assholes on the planet and been married to some hot headed women...you can tell that pretty little lady that you love her..." Mike said defiantly.

Gibbs gulped down almost all of his drink in one go, hoping this bottle would be the one that would kill the brain cells which reminded him of how he felt about Abby. He wanted so badly to keep that part of himself, but he was slowly suffocating, his heart and mind stuck in limbo between what he wanted and what he thought he could have.

"I'm not sure she wants to hear it...not in the way I want to say it to her..."

"Well you aren't gonna know until you try now are you?"

Gibbs sighed and placed his beer down on the deck beside him. Leaning forward he tried to massage some of the tension from his forehead. "I did try...we just got a little off track, and the more I tried the more I couldn't risk losing what we had by forcing things on her."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means I should've told her how I felt before things got complicated..."

Mike walked over to him and sat next to him on the step, their steaks temporarily forgotten as he looked at Gibbs with wide eyes.

"She found someone else?" Mike asked sympathetically.

"Think she has now, after I told her..." Gibbs trailed off when he realized he was about to reveal everything to Mike. The two men stared at each other until Gibbs knew he wasn't going to get any peace unless he finished his sentence. "I told her we needed a break."

"Break from what?"

Mike's question hung in the air, Gibbs unwilling to go into any more detail and outright say he and Abby had been intimate physically and nothing more. But reading the guilt in Gibbs' eyes Mike's shoulders slumped, his expression of total defeat making Gibbs turn away. "Ah geez, probie, you're sleeping with her and haven't told her yet! Why?"

"Guess I panicked," Gibbs shrugged, downing the rest of his beer.

"You don't panic, Gibbs."

"I took advantage of her...we were both vulnerable the first time..."

His own words cut right through his soul; the last thing he ever wanted to do was treat Abby the way he had.

"You felt guilty, so you decided to make it up to her by having sex with her again...have I got that right?" Mike tilted his head to the side, weighing up his own words for a moment. "It's a step in the right direction, I'll grant you that...but she needs to hear all that other stuff. Thought you said she was different to the others."

"She is different...I just...once we started I didn't want to let her go. Didn't wanna take the chance she'd leave me."

"So you beat her to it?" Mike retorted.

Gibbs knew Mike was angry with him, hell he was angrier at himself than anyone else could ever be, but he was determined to try and make things right.

And that was why he had come to Mexico...to try and move on...to forget.

"Can we talk about something else?" Gibbs mumbled, still refusing to look at his friend.

"We can talk about whatever you want...ain't gonna change anything."

When Gibbs didn't offer any further responses, Mike got to his feet and moved back to the grill, the silence lingering between them. A few minutes later Gibbs went back inside the cabin to grab another beer, fully intent on drinking himself into oblivion so he could at least get some sleep.

After they'd eaten, the two men gradually began to work their way through the rest of the beer in the fridge, conversation between them picking up once Mike realized Gibbs was done talking about the cause of his anguish.

Abby, however, was never far from Gibbs' mind.

After finishing another round of drinks, Mike went inside to use the bathroom and get them two more beers, but when he hadn't returned after fifteen minutes Gibbs assumed he'd had enough and gone to bed. He was feeling exhausted himself; the alcohol had added to the weariness of his muscles and intensified his feeling of longing for Abby. He was sleepy, but the thought of going to bed alone with his memories wasn't a pleasant one.

Stretching out on the deck chair, Gibbs' sore and fatigued eyes looked up at the stars flickering in the night sky. He had no idea what time it was, but he hoped Abby was safe and sleeping and that someone was taking care of her, since he couldn't.

He thought back to the first morning he woke up next to her, believing this was the start of their new life together. It had all seemed so simple...the idea that she'd want to be with him on a permanent basis after what they'd done the night before.

He'd studied the features of her face, the curves of her cheek and neckline, her lips parted as she took in gentle breaths; her serene beauty in sleep was just as overwhelming as her stunning vibrancy when she was awake.

Her body had been so warm against him, her softness so alluring that Gibbs knew he'd regret it if he screwed things up with her.

Every part of him cried out for her and after four months of trying to get his life back together, Gibbs wanted Abby with him...he wanted a new beginning with her. But it hadn't worked out that way.

It was when her long eyelashes had flickered open as she woke, the emerald orbs he loved so much revealing her apprehension, that Gibbs knew he couldn't tell her. He didn't want to place demands on her, and ask her for more than she was willing to give.

So he'd distracted her, taken care of her body's needs again, with barely a word passing between them until they'd awkwardly said goodbye at his front door and left for work in separate cars.

Things could've...and should've, been much different.

Trying to shake himself free of the memory of Abby sleeping next to him, Gibbs got to his feet and went inside to check on Mike. He found his mentor passed out on his bed, his loud snores more than enough evidence that he'd had his quota of beer for the day.

Running a tired hand through his hair Gibbs closed the front door and made his way to the guest room. Not bothering to get changed, he threw back the bed covers and turned out the light, easing his unsteady body onto the bed before falling back against the pillows.

Just like he knew she would, Abby appeared the second he closed his eyes. He rolled over, forcing his face into the pillow, hoping the alcohol would soon send him on the same journey as Mike.

But in the early hours of the morning when sleep did eventually claim him, Gibbs dreamed of her.

There were just some things he would never be able to run from.

TBC...


	3. A Slow Destruction

A/N: Thanks for the reviews/follows/favs they mean a lot :)

* * *

**Chapter 3 - A Slow Destruction**

Dropping her bags down beside her feet in exhaustion, Abby looked up from the beach at the small wooden cabin in front of her. Apart from the sound of the ocean and birds calling in the distance all she was greeted with was silence.

She wasn't sure what she expected to find when she arrived, but then there was only one reason she had travelled this far in the early hours of the morning, so everything else was irrelevant.

She'd come here to find him, to get some answers and find out why he'd felt like he had to run away.

Lifting her arm to shield the sun from her eyes, Abby squinted when a figure stumbled out the open front door of the cabin. Mike Franks stopped the instant he saw her, quickly looking behind him in through the door before taking several steps closer to her.

"Thought you weren't gonna come." His voice was low as he took the steps down to the sand.

Abby had spoken to Mike twice the previous day, the first time she'd called him to see if Gibbs was there, which at the time he hadn't been. But Mike had called her later on that afternoon, without Gibbs' knowledge, to say Gibbs had turned up.

She'd instantly wanted to go after him, but had been torn between giving him more of the space he wanted, and taking the chance he might not come home.

It had barely taken a few paced out laps around her lab before Abby had given in to the inevitable; there was no way she could stay away from him.

What was happening between them couldn't go on any longer. She was scared and confused, but she needed Gibbs...needed to know if there was ever going to be anything more than what they had now. But more than anything Abby was worried about him; she had to know that he was alright, because if he wasn't, then neither was she.

"I wasn't going to," she admitted sadly, "but I need to see him...is he okay?"

Mike reached out a hand to lay it on her shoulder. "Well that depends on your definition of okay, he's doing what he does best when he's left alone with his thoughts."

"Brooding?"

"Pretty and smart," Mike teased her, though Abby could tell he was trying to lighten the mood, which made her worry even more about Gibbs' state of mind.

She forced a smile to her lips, but it was only fleeting, her thoughts returning to Gibbs. "He's been doing a lot of that lately...brooding."

Abby had known from the suddenness of Gibbs' departure that his leaving had everything to do with what was happening between them. He was the bravest man she knew, but for him to leave like he had, with no explanation to her or anyone...it terrified her. Even when he'd come to Mexico the last time, he'd at least left her with a phone number if she needed him.

Abby was confused by his behavior over the last couple of months and although he'd been through a lot in trying to regain his memories, at times she found her patience pushed to the limit. But she'd held on, clinging to the hope that he'd let her into his heart completely.

She loved him, and it was because of her feelings for Gibbs that she could no longer stand by and watch what they had, fall down around her. Abby wanted more than the physical relationship they'd been having over the last several weeks, but she hadn't wanted to push him into anything after all he'd been through. If sex was all he wanted from her for the time being, then Abby was willing to wait for him, until he was ready to give her more.

But that hadn't happened. If anything, the longer they were together the more Gibbs closed himself off to her, and when he'd told her they needed time apart it had cut her deeply. Abby couldn't help but wonder what she'd done wrong, whether Gibbs was now regretting everything...and if he even loved her at all.

It had been difficult, but over the last week she had given him space in the hopes that he would realize what they had together, and that it went far beyond sex. Outside work hours she kept busy with her friends, trying to keep herself from thinking about Gibbs...but it had been pointless. He was part of her now, and she didn't want to let him go.

"Abby...what are you doing here?"

Gibbs' questioning voice brought her out of her thoughts with a jolt and she looked up at him, surprised by his dishevelled appearance. His cargo shorts were twisted and hanging loosely from his waist, his t-shirt crumbled like he'd slept in it and his hair was sticking up in random directions. Red eyes gave the appearance that he hadn't slept in days, but from the paleness of his skin and the slowness of his movements, Abby could tell he was also hung over.

"I came to find you." She took a step closer to him, longing to reach out and touch him but not knowing if he would welcome the contact.

"Don't need to be found, Abby...I came here to get away from things."

"From me?"

"I didn't say that..."

"You didn't need to," Abby said quietly, feeling her heart drop. Had she overlooked something that had damaged their friendship so much that he no longer wanted to be around her?

As she stood in front of him, Abby saw a glimmer of vulnerability flash in his eyes. "It's not you, Abbs...it's me, this is my fault."

Had Mike not been standing behind her, Abby might have been tempted to tell Gibbs how she felt then and there. But she knew he wouldn't appreciate being forced to confront not only her feelings, but his as well, in front of an audience, even if it was Mike.

"If you'd get your head out of your ass for five minutes–" Mike started, but his words were quickly cut off by Gibbs.

"You shouldn't have come here, Abby." He turned to Mike who had picked up Abby's bags and was walking up the steps with them. "And you shouldn't have told her I was here."

Not waiting for either of them to answer Gibbs walked past them and down the stairs, his retreating form following the pathway that Abby had made in the sand.

She was at a loss for words how to stop him...how to make him see that all she wanted was him.

"What are you afraid of Gibbs?" Mike shouted after him. "She came all this way to see you, doesn't that tell you somethin'?"

But Gibbs either wasn't listening or didn't care.

Overcome with panic Abby's legs refused to move, all she could do was watch on as he continued to walk away from her, suddenly feeling like she'd lost him forever this time.

"Why does he always have to be so damn stubborn?" Mike grumbled.

Abby felt his arm go around her shoulder and he pulled her into a light hug. As much as she wanted him to, she hadn't really expected Gibbs would welcome her with open arms. That in itself was testament to how much their relationship had altered over the last few weeks; he'd always been there for her, so what was it that was keeping him from being there now?

"Maybe I should go..." Abby sighed, "let him try and work through this on his own..."

"You're not goin' anywhere," Mike told her adamantly. "You're tired and you've got every right to be here. Let him calm down, then we'll make him see sense."

Abby nodded her agreement and followed Mike inside. The last time she'd slept had been when Gibbs had showed up at her apartment two nights ago, but it felt like it had been much longer. She knew they couldn't go on like this, and one way or another they had to sort things out before she returned to DC, whether it was alone or with Gibbs.

She spent the rest of the morning and into the afternoon napping but not really getting any decent sleep. Lying on the couch, every noise she heard that could be Gibbs made her sit up, her eyes searching for him through the open door and her ears straining to hear him. But by the time the sun had gone down he hadn't returned.

While Mike cooked them burgers on the grill Abby sat in one of the deck chairs and waited, looking down the stretch of beach, hoping to see Gibbs' figure walking closer.

"Maybe I'll go and look for him," Abby said anxiously getting to her feet.

"He'll be fine...he'll be at the cantina gettin' a skinful."

Mike handed her a plate with some food on and even though she wasn't hungry Abby took it and rested it on her lap as she sat back down.

Her mind was a whirlwind of activity; chaotic, disjointed and restless...all because she was in love.

She didn't know where to go from here, or how she would ever be able to fix things this time. If something was broken, Gibbs was always the one to repair it, but what if he didn't want to mend the damage this time.

Mike knew a different side to Gibbs than Abby did, so if he could offer her advice, she knew she had to take it.

"Did Gibbs tell you anything?" She asked softly, hoping the darkness hid some of her nerves.

"He told me enough," Mike admitted, sitting down in the chair beside her. "Don't need to be told something went wrong though."

"I thought we were okay at first, that what we were doing would grow into more...that we'd get closer."

"Did you tell him that?" He took a bite of his burger, his seemingly innocent question making Abby feel even more anxious.

"I didn't want to pressure him. I'm not exactly his type and I didn't want to make him feel awkward if he didn't want something more." She looked away from him, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening at the thought of her next words. "He could have his choice of sophisticated redheads, why would he want me..."

"A man doesn't put himself through this kinda hell for the sake of it...going through the loss of Shannon and Kelly, twice, he wouldn't come back for another dose of heartache if you didn't mean something to him, if he didn't think you were worth it."

Abby had always doubted that Gibbs would ever want her in the same way she wanted him and that she could be everything he needed. It was a constant battle that played out in her head, and she couldn't help but wonder now if that self doubt had ruined her one chance to be with him.

"Maybe in his own way he tried to tell me that...I thought he was pushing me away because he regretted that we were sleeping together..."

Even though Gibbs putting up walls around himself had hurt her, what caused Abby the most pain was that they had stopped relying on each other like they used to. They no longer turned to one another as they had done before things had changed. If she'd been in this situation with someone else, Abby knew she could go to Gibbs and he would help her work through it...but the openness in their relationship had slowly closed in and now she had nowhere to go.

Mike shook his head at her. "You two really need to start openin' your mouths and talking."

It seemed like simple advice but it was something that both she and Gibbs had taken for granted; they hadn't worked at communicating like they had in the past. Abby just hoped it wasn't too late for them...that one of the things their strong friendship had been built on would be partly to blame for its destruction.

TBC...


	4. Waiting It Out

**Chapter 4 - Waiting It Out**

As the evening wore on, Abby began to realize Gibbs probably wasn't coming back, at least not tonight. She knew Mike was right and he'd be holding up a bar stool and brooding into a bottle of beer, but it didn't stop her worrying; not only about if he was okay, but also about his reaction to her following him here.

She was hurt that he hadn't stayed to talk to her, to at least try and work through what was going on with them. But this was what he'd been doing for the last week...avoiding her, avoiding them.

At work he'd been sending either Tony, Ziva or Tim down for results, and he'd also stopped bringing her caf-pows...he'd always brought her caf-pows, no matter what else was happening around them. That's when Abby had known something was seriously wrong.

Although up until that point things had been awkward and strained, Gibbs had still taken Abby her favorite drink every day, so when he started making someone else take it to her, she'd felt another piece of their friendship being harshly broken away.

The rest of the team had noticed some of the tension between her and Gibbs, but Abby had given nothing away when they asked about it, and she doubted Gibbs would go into any detail about it either.

Abby knew it wasn't just Gibbs' fault that their relationship seemed to be falling apart, but if they were going to get through this they both had to forget their insecurities and doubts. It had been her intention to try and do that when Gibbs had fled from DC; it had scared the life out of her, so Abby had tried to forget about everything but what was best for them in the long run. So she'd come after him, unwilling to go on feeling the way she was without him.

"I feel like I've only just got him back to lose him again," she said quietly, drawing Mike's attention to her. "While he was here with you a few months ago...it was like everything came to a standstill. I was going through the motions, but I wasn't living...when he came back, it was like he brought the missing part of my soul with him."

She was seated on the edge of the porch with her legs hanging down, her hands nervously twisting on her lap. Mike was behind her in one of the chairs, but she didn't fail to notice he wasn't drinking anything. Abby wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not, but she was grateful he was making the effort to listen if she wanted to talk.

Having to keep the burden of her relationship with Gibbs a secret, as well as not being able to share with any of her friends her torment of Gibbs pushing her away, Abby found herself feeling relieved for the chance to talk to someone.

They'd never discussed whether they should keep what they were doing to themselves, much like everything else that was important in their relationship. But what could she say to the people closest to her to make them comprehend what it was she had with Gibbs when she didn't fully understand it herself.

With anyone else the prospect of a purely physical relationship wouldn't be an issue...this was Gibbs though, so it changed everything.

Mike had been friends with Gibbs for so long that he had an understanding of what went on in his head, and Abby was hoping that would help her in being able to know what to do next.

"You and I both know Gibbs isn't a talker...if you get him in the right moment, you'll get a bit outta him, but he doesn't do well with this emotional stuff."

"It was pretty obvious he didn't want me here. Do you think I should stay?" she asked, holding her breath as she waited for his answer.

"Just took him by surprise is all. He's not angry with you, he's angry with himself, for lettin' things get to this." Mike paused for a moment and leaned forward on his chair, his voice gentle as he continued. "Can't be all his fault though can it?"

Abby sighed and turned to face him, chewing on her bottom lip as she tried to keep her emotions under control. The last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of Mike. She'd been doing enough of that in the privacy of her own apartment where no-one could see.

"No," she admitted softly. "I'm just as much to blame, maybe even more so. Because I didn't want to push him into something he wasn't ready for I held back...just went along with everything when I should've stood up for us."

"It's never too late. Comin' after Gibbs like you have, you're braver than you think."

Abby couldn't help but wish she'd had more courage on that first morning they'd woken up together. If she'd just told Gibbs then that she was in love with him, all of the turmoil and anguish could've been avoided. It still might not have turned out the way she wanted, but she would've known one way or another how he felt about her.

At the time she'd been scared. Waking to see the hesitancy in Gibbs' eyes, her first thought was that he was going to tell her it was all a mistake. But without a word he'd brought her to the edge of her orgasm with the most immense pleasure, his mouth and hands taking her ever closer to her release until their bodies had joined again and she'd screamed out his name.

There had been a sense of desperation in the way he'd taken her, his touches relentless as if this might be the last time they were together. She'd savored every moment, losing herself in him, and clinging to the hopes that there would one day be more than this between them.

In the following days and weeks they'd fallen into a routine that had involved lots of sex and very little talking. It wasn't all she wanted from Gibbs but Abby had been prepared to take whatever he offered her, just so she could be with him. They never defined exactly what their relationship was and Abby didn't want to take the chance that he'd say it was over if she questioned him, so she'd remained quiet.

Things between them never had a chance to go wrong from a good beginning, because they had never taken off from a bad start.

There was no denying she loved being with him and giving into their body's desires, but she needed more...needed all of him.

Abby could still remember how he felt when he was inside her, the heavy weight of him on top of her, his hardness buried so deep she didn't know where she ended and he began.

The smell of him was engrained into her senses, the strength of his muscles under her hands still fresh in her memory. It had been forty-eight hours since their last time together but Abby remembered everything about him so clearly she swore she could still taste him.

"I can't lose him again, Mike..." she admitted, exhaling unsteadily. "How do I tell him I'm sorry, when it's obvious he's hurting as much as I am?"

Abby drew her legs up, her feet resting flat on the decking as she wrapped her arms around her knees. She held herself tightly, her eyes searching Mike's for answers.

"He gives the impression that he's strong, but that heart of his isn't as closed up as some people think. He might've done a runner on ya, but he was trying to protect you as much as he was trying to protect himself."

"I don't need protection, not from him," Abby answered defiantly, "and I know there are a lot of layers under those walls he tries to hide behind, but I love him..." she finished softly.

Mike reached out to take one of her hands in his and squeezed it gently, urging her to move closer so he could place a reassuring arm around her shoulder. Abby sat next to him on the chair settling into the embrace, accepting the warmth and comfort it offered.

"It's not my place to say the things he needs to tell you, but it's my guess he feels everything you do and more. Gibbs dwells on things and punishes himself, coz he'd rather do that than pass his burdens on to you. He can't tell you he loves you because he thinks the rejection would kill him and because it's easier...safer...for him to have a part of you than risk losing all of you."

Closing her eyes, Abby rested her head against Mike's shoulder and sighed. "I'm so tired."

"If you wanna sleep, but don't wanna sleep in Gibbs' bed, you can have my bed or the couch."

Abby was on her feet the instant Mike mentioned Gibbs' bed, beginning to pace back and forth across the porch. "I need to talk to him...maybe I can drive your truck into town?"

Mike shook his head. "I don't think that'd be such a good idea."

"I can't do this anymore...I can't just wait around." Abby made a dash for the steps but Mike was quickly on his feet, his hand stretching out to take hold of her arm and stop her.

"My guess is he won't be in a fit state to talk, or to listen. Both of you need time to calm down...I'll bring him back tomorrow, you have my word."

Abby's shoulders slumped, nodding her head as she sighed. "Okay."

In the light coming from inside the cabin Abby noticed the darkness around Mike's eyes and suddenly felt guilty for throwing him in the middle of the mess she and Gibbs had created. "I'm sorry we've brought you into this."

Mike pulled her into a one armed hug and Abby wove her arms around him. She felt comfortable with him, and she trusted him, not only because of his past with Gibbs but because of the kind heart she knew lay under his rough exterior. Mike and Gibbs were a lot alike in many ways and she was thankful that he was willing to help them both through this.

"Nothing to be sorry for," he said forcing a grin that Abby knew was for her benefit.

"I think I will go to bed..." she hesitated for a moment before continuing. "I'll sleep in Gibbs' bed."

When Mike didn't try and change her mind, Abby left him on the porch and headed inside to use the bathroom and get ready for bed. She said goodnight before closing the door behind her, staring down at the crumpled sheets.

Walking over to Gibbs' bag she opened it and searched through his clothes until she found one of his t-shirts. Taking off her boots first, she pushed down her jeans then unbuttoned her shirt and unclasped her bra. Leaving just her panties on, Abby slipped Gibbs' t-shirt over her head, the cool material raising goose bumps over her body.

The material was soft against her skin, and it smelled and felt like Gibbs...like his body surrounded her.

Sitting down on the bed she picked up one of the pillows and brought it to her face, breathing in his hypnotizing scent. All at once it excited her, calmed her, made her sad and filled her with longing.

She hoped he was safe, and that tomorrow would bring them both some answers. She missed him, really missed him, and would've given anything to curl her weary body around him and hold him close.

Lying down, Abby switched off the bedside lamp and rested her head on the other pillow, wrapping the one in her hand tightly within her arms.

When her tears tried to escape this time, she didn't stop them. Her body was exhausted, her mind unable to think clearly anymore, and her heart on the verge of breaking. Gibbs had become the center of her world and the one she cared about more than anything, if they couldn't fix things, then she had nothing because he had become her everything.

TBC...


	5. Light From Darkness

A/N: Apparently I've depressed the hell out of everyone...sorry if that's the case, I just wanted to play with something a little different. But thanks to those of you still reading :)

* * *

**Chapter 5 - Light From Darkness**

Gibbs rolled over on the small single bed, his weary muscles protesting against the movement inflicted upon them. His eyes flickered open and then quickly closed, the morning sun filtering in through the open blinds and sending imaginary knives through his skull. He was certain with this amount of pain he should be dead.

Clutching his hand down over his forehead, he held his breath and waited for the pounding to stop. It didn't, but after a few moments it eased enough that he could control the urge to throw up. He licked his dry lips, his throat constricting as he swallowed then let out a harsh cough.

He couldn't remember how much he'd had to drink...but the one thing he could remember was Abby. His large consumption of alcohol had only served to open his wounds deeper, when all Gibbs wanted was to let them heal. His emotions were raw, and he'd done the exact opposite to what he had been trying to do, he let his guard down and let people see how conflicted he was. They knew he was hurting and that he wasn't coping.

Abby's appearance at Mike's had only made him more confused. Gibbs was torn between wanting to believe she really had come to see him, and still wanting to protect himself from further pain if she had come here to tell him it was over and she'd found someone to replace him.

Gibbs felt guilty for not giving her a chance to explain, but the more time he spent with her the harder it became to push aside his true feelings for her. He knew it would be easier for her to end it with him here, away from work and their friends, but a part of him was still trying to fight the realization that he'd had Abby and let her slip through his fingers.

After leaving Abby with Mike yesterday he'd spent the remaining hours of the day at the cantina, talking to Camilla while she worked behind the bar. She'd kept up a steady supply of beers and by the time the sun had gone down Gibbs was more than a little relaxed, though his mind was still focused on one thing.

He could hold his liquor better than most people, but with every mouthful Gibbs waited, hoping it would give at least a few minutes reprieve from his thoughts. He had a vague recollection of trying to persuade Camilla to drive him back to the cabin so he could confess his undying love for Abby, but given his current state of disarray he couldn't be sure if it had really happened or not. He wondered maybe if he'd gone to her when he was drunk, that he would've saved himself some anguish...but in the harsh light of day it would still hurt.

Sitting up on the bed, he rubbed an unsteady hand through his hair and blinked open his eyes to better take in his surroundings. There was barely enough space in the room for a bed, a small table with a lamp on it the only other pieces of furniture. He threw his legs over the side of the bed, the stiff joints in his arms and legs telling him he was getting too old to keep carrying on the way he was.

His thoughts returned to Abby; he couldn't blame her if she'd gone home. But he'd never forgive himself if by leaving her in his angered state he'd destroyed the small chance of getting back their friendship.

When he'd left Mike's place he'd managed to hitch a ride to the cantina with one of the other local store owners, and there he'd stayed...too angry to face Mike and too scared to talk to Abby.

When the door to the small room opened, Gibbs lifted his head to be greeted with a sympathetic smile from Camilla.

Gibbs apprehensively watched her walk into the room and place a folded towel down on the end of the bed. "You should have a shower, I'll make you some breakfast...someone is coming to pick you up."

Gibbs knew that someone would be Mike. He nodded his acknowledgement and wearily got to his feet, his voice rough as he spoke. "Thanks...for bringing me here...coulda left me to fend for myself..."

He felt awkward trying to apologize for his behavior when he really couldn't remember a lot of what he'd said and done, but he knew Abby would've been the most regular topic of conversation, how could she not when she was the only thing he could think about.

Camilla placed a reassuring hand on his arm. "I'm not sure your Abby would be too happy if she found out I let you sleep out on the street somewhere."

Gibbs felt his chest tighten at the mention of her name; if he was unsure about whether he'd said too much last night, there was his answer. He turned away to look out the window, hoping he could hide some of his embarrassment, and at the same time trying to regain the hazy threads of his memories.

"After what I've done, she might think I deserve it," he mumbled.

Somehow in trying to find himself in the last several months, all he'd managed to do was become more lost. Professionally he'd regained a sense of purpose, but in his personal life Gibbs felt as if he was walking a never ending tightrope. He knew his inability to talk about his feelings and to let people see the fragile side of him was something he would always struggle with, and it tore him apart to think that his insecurities could cost him the woman he cared about more than anything.

Trying to shake away his thoughts of self doubt he forced a slight grin to his lips, not wanting to dump more of his problems on Camilla...she'd heard more than enough already. He picked the towel up off the bed, avoiding Camilla's gaze as he took a step towards the door.

"I will tell you the same thing I told you last night...all she wants to hear is that you love her. You think she doesn't want you, but have you asked her?" She paused for a moment giving Gibbs the chance to answer but when he didn't she stepped in front of him, forcing him to look at her. "Sometimes we pay more attention to what can go wrong rather than what feels right. Do you really think she would come this far if she didn't care about you?"

Gibbs' shoulders sagged and he leaned back against the door frame. "I don't know..." he sighed, feeling as if the fight had completely gone out of him.

After two back to back hellish hangovers, a week of barely sleeping and his dive into self-destruction only getting worse he had nothing left.

"You need to talk to her," Camilla said softly, "not about what you think...about what's in here." She placed her hand gently over the center of his chest, her eyes searching his for some kind of recognition that he understood.

A loud knock on the front door startled them both and Gibbs moved away from her, looking down the hallway for the bathroom.

"I asked him to bring some clothes for you," Camilla told him, pointing towards the bright room at end of the hall. "I'll leave them outside the door...and make you both something to eat."

Gibbs nodded his thanks, he was grateful that she understood he wasn't ready just yet to hear the barrage of questions and advice that he was sure would come from Mike. There was no way he was going to avoid it, and part of Gibbs knew he deserved it, he also accepted that there would be some truth to what his mentor had to say...he just needed to prepare himself first.

Making his way to the bathroom, Gibbs closed the door behind him, hearing Mike's gruff voice echo through the house moments later. He walked over to the mirror to look at himself, taking in the several days' worth of stubble and the drawn appearance of his unusually pale skin. His bloodshot eyes were rimmed with dark rings, and a small bruise marked his forehead.

Gibbs looked exactly how he felt...like he'd been to hell and back.

Lifting his hand he gently inspected the bruise above his eye, his fingers gliding over the slight bump that had also formed. His eyes narrowed in on it as he remembered falling over and hitting his head on the corner of a table when he left the cantina with Camilla.

Starring at his reflection, a wave of sorrow came over him...he missed Abby, needed her.

He wanted to make things right but didn't know how. All he knew was that he couldn't go on like this anymore. It had to stop...and it had to stop now, before he lost everything.

* * *

Seated at the table in Camilla's kitchen, Mike Franks looked up from his coffee when he heard the squeak of the bathroom door open, followed seconds later by the click of it closing again. Much to his dislike, the woman now standing at the stove top cooking bacon and eggs had left Gibbs' clothes on the floor outside the bathroom door rather than letting Mike barrel in there and shake some sense into Gibbs.

Mike knew he was probably the last person to be giving advice about women and drinking, but after spending one evening with Gibbs, trying to drag the truth out of him, followed by talking to Abby last night, he was ready to take extreme measures.

"He spent the day and night with you?" Mike asked Camilla, watching as she put some bread in the toaster.

"At the cantina, yes, then I brought him back here to sleep it off." She poured a cup of coffee for Gibbs and filled up Mike's cup.

"He say anything to you?"

Camilla looked towards the bathroom to make sure Gibbs wasn't lurking. "We talked a bit...much of which I'm sure he doesn't remember. He loves her but is too afraid to tell her."

Mike raised an eyebrow at her. "He told you that?"

"He didn't need to," she said giving him a knowing smirk.

After Gibbs had left to go back to DC several months ago, Mike had decided to take some of his own advice and he and Camilla were now seeing each other. They'd flirted with each other for as long as he could remember, and rather than getting jealous when other men looked at her, or she looked at them, Mike had finally come to realize the only way to stop that was to let her know he was interested in more.

Their relationship was anything but smooth, but she made him happy and gave him something to smile about, and he hoped it worked the other way around too. Camilla tolerated his gruffness and she did her best to look after him, without smothering him.

Mike knew she didn't like him drinking as much as he did, and when he was with her, he made the effort to drink slower, but after Gibbs and Abby turning up on his doorstep it was possible his progress may have taken a backward step or two.

"They're both as stubborn as each other," Mike sighed, taking a swig of his coffee. "If they'd used their mouths for talking instead of what they have been usin' them for, things would've been a lot easier."

"Since when have matters of the heart ever been easy?" She smiled at him and returned to the stove to plate up his breakfast.

Mike rolled his eyes. "How is he? Apart from hung over."

"Upset, angry, scared...in love..."

Miked nodded his agreement. While it was possible that if Gibbs had drunk enough he might've told Camilla exactly how he felt, Mike knew she would've figured out what was going on in Gibbs' head with the very little he did give away. She'd always been observant and not the least bit judgmental it was what he loved most about her. In that sense she was also a lot like Abby.

"Abby's still here?" Camilla asked, walking over to Mike and putting a plate of food down in front of him.

Mike wove an arm around her waist when she stood beside him, pulling her closer into his side. "I managed to talk her into staying, she was asleep when I left. Was a rough night for her."

"For Gibbs too. He wanted me to drive him to your place at three in the morning so he could see her, but I persuaded him to wait...I didn't think she should see him like that." She paused for a moment, like she was weighing up whether to continue on with her thoughts or not, but eventually did. "What is she like, his Abby?"

Mike smiled and removed his arm from around Camilla so he could start eating. "She's a pretty little thing, full of life, caring, and she's willing to accept him as he is...unlike those exes of his. They're maybe not what some people might call a typical couple on the outside...but there's somethin' undefinable between 'em. They're good for each other."

"Then it's up to you to make sure they work it out." She kissed him on the forehead, before flashing a cheeky grin at him and walking back to the stove.

"Me?" Mike grumbled with his mouth full of food.

"Gibbs is your friend, and he's hurting..."

Before Mike could answer her, they both turned at the sound of Gibbs clearing his throat in the doorway.

"It's okay," he mumbled. "I'll talk to her, if she still wants to talk to me."

"She didn't come all this way just to see the back end of you as you walked away probie."

Gibbs walked further into the room, approaching Camilla when she held up his cup of coffee. "Maybe..."

"No maybe about it...I'll tell you the same thing I told Abby, you gotta stop avoiding this, the blame doesn't lie with one of you, but one of you can fix it with just a few words."

Gibbs felt his stomach churn uncomfortably at the thought that Mike and Abby had discussed the intimate details of their relationship while he'd been trying to dull his pain. As much as it sent a stab of anger and guilt through him though, there was a part of him that was grateful to Mike for looking after her.

And how could he expect Abby to remain silent when he'd left her there without even trying to fix things. Because they hadn't talked about their relationship, Gibbs didn't know if she'd shared their secret with anybody else, but he couldn't expect her to hold onto it forever...Abby needed to talk things through, she always had done.

Gibbs took the coffee from Camilla, then went to sit at the table across from Mike. He'd barely been awake fifteen minutes and he was already exhausted, the haze of alcohol hanging over him like a thick dark cloud and adding to his already fragile state of mind. It had been a long time since he'd felt this bad.

He took several gulps of coffee, hoping the warm dark liquid would settle his stomach and quash his awkwardness. In front of one of his closest friends and the woman who had done her best to look after his damaged heart last night, Gibbs felt vulnerable...he felt exposed.

"I made it difficult for her to be herself around me," Gibbs admitted in response to Mike. "It should never have been that way. It's my fault, and somehow I've gotta try and make it up to her...I shouldn't have walked out on her."

"Just tell her the truth, that's all she wants," Camilla said gently.

She placed the plate with his eggs, bacon and toast down on the table and Gibbs looked up at her.

"Thanks." He forced a smile to his lips, hoping she picked up on his double meaning.

He could've gotten himself into an even bigger mess last night, but because Camilla had been there to keep an eye on him, to listen to him, he still had a hope with Abby. Even if he believed it was only a slim chance.

"Eat," she said softly and returned his smile, "you'll feel better. Today is going to be a good day for you, I can feel it."

She laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder before going to make herself some toast.

Gibbs didn't really feel like eating, and he wasn't entirely sure that he'd be able to keep any food down, not just because of his queasiness but also due to the apprehension of what the day would hold.

He missed Abby and wanted to see her, to try and work things out, and he was prepared to do whatever it took, but he was anxious that he wouldn't like what she'd have to say.

"Is Abby alright?" He asked, picking up the knife and fork Camilla had left on the table. The question was directed at Mike, but Gibbs found he couldn't look at him, unsure if he could take the expression in his eyes without feeling guiltier.

Mike stretched back in his chair "She thinks she's lost you. So we're gonna eat breakfast and then you and I are goin' back to the cabin and the two of you are gonna sort this mess out."

Gibbs lifted his head at the blunt tone in Mike's voice, their eyes finally meeting across the table. Gibbs clenched his jaw, biting back a defiant response that he wasn't going to be told what to do by anyone, but he knew Mike was right.

"You owe it her and you owe it yourself," Mike continued, his voice softening.

Gibbs merely nodded and turned his attention back to his breakfast. He reluctantly managed to eat a few mouthfuls before realizing his stomach wasn't going to co-operate and returned to his coffee instead.

He zoned out as Mike and Camilla talked, his thoughts again on what had happened last night. What hurt him the most now, was that he'd upset Abby. He'd always put her first...her safety and her happiness was more important to him than anything. This time, by leaving her with Mike, Gibbs had put himself above her. It was something he could never forgive himself for, even if she did.

The instant Gibbs had finished his coffee and pushed his plate aside Mike was on his feet, pushing his chair under the table and giving Camilla a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll be back in a little while."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow at Mike's fairly obvious hint and stood up, forcing a weak smile to his lips as Camilla approached. She pulled him into a gentle hug, her arms enfolding him as she whispered, "Abby is a lucky woman, many search their whole lives for the love you have for her."

As they pulled out of the embrace, Gibbs took a hold of her hand and squeezed it. "Thanks for the bed and the ear."

"You're always welcome here, Gibbs."

"Except for tonight, probie," Mike interrupted. "Come on, let's go, none of us are getting any younger."

Gibbs had no idea what to say to Abby, or even if she would listen to him, but as he walked out into the bright morning sun he knew without a doubt that his future...their future, would be decided one way or another before the day was over.

TBC...


	6. Truth And Consequence

A/N: Masses of hugs, cookies, ice cream and special thanks to Gosgirl...who is my own personal cheerleader and muse butt-kicker :p Where would I be without ya?! :)

This chapter is for ncislove...I'm working on those other 7 chapters for you ;)

* * *

**Chapter 6 - Truth And Consequence**

The trip to Mike's cabin passed without a word being exchanged, Gibbs keeping his eyes focused out the window and trying to figure out exactly what he was going to say to Abby. Because they both assumed Gibbs was probably still over the alcohol driving limit, Mike was driving the truck, which gave Gibbs even more time to think...something he could've done without.

So caught up in his own thoughts, it seemed like they'd only just gotten into the truck when they pulled up out the front of Mike's.

There were no obvious signs of Abby from the outside, and Gibbs felt a sudden bout of anxiety churn in his stomach; what if she'd decided to go home?

"She's in there," Mike assured him, as if walking into his thoughts. "And she'll be wantin' to see you."

Gibbs couldn't remember the last time he felt this nervous...he didn't get nervous, at least not enough to let people see it. To let others see his fears would be a sign of weakness, but he had nothing left to hide now, Mike had seen him at his worst on more than one occasion and they were still friends.

"Why would she want me?" Gibbs asked on a sigh as they sat in the truck. "An old broken down Marine, with enough baggage to sink an entire fleet."

He wasn't sure if he was asking Mike or himself, but as he looked longingly at the cabin, Gibbs could only hope Abby saw something in him, through all the masks and hidden truths, that would make her love him.

Mike opened his door and got out from behind the driver's seat. "I can't explain it any better than you can, but if there's more between you than rollin' around between the sheets, there's only one way you're gonna find out."

Gibbs took a deep breath as he lifted the car door handle and pushed it open. Mike waited for him to begin walking inside before following a few steps behind.

Stepping into the cabin they were greeted only by silence and Gibbs looked towards the bathroom, hoping she might be in there...that she hadn't run out on him like he'd done to her.

"She must still be asleep, she's in the spare room."

Gibbs turned to look at Mike, uncertain what to think about Abby sleeping in the same bed that he'd slept in. After some of the things they'd done in both his and her bed, it shouldn't have been such a surprise that's where she would end up, but somehow he just hadn't expected it, he thought she'd want to withdraw from him after the way he'd treated her.

Moving towards the bedroom Gibbs quietly opened the door, the subdued sunlight shining in through the partially opened curtains. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her curled up in the sheets he'd slept in the night before, the material covering up to her stomach.

He recognized she was wearing one of his t-shirts, the well worn fabric seemingly shrinking her figure as she lay on her side, her arms holding tightly onto his pillow, her face resting on its softness.

In the weeks they'd been together he'd often laid awake while she'd slept, after they'd exhausted their bodies, sometimes almost working up the courage to say something to her, even if he knew she wouldn't hear.

But now, as she lay sleeping, Gibbs realized he couldn't wait to see beautiful slivers of emerald when her eyes opened. He noticed the slight redness and puffiness around her eyes and felt another pang of guilt at the thought she'd been crying, and he was the cause of it.

Suddenly reminded that he wasn't alone, Gibbs felt Mike stand behind him, his usually gruff voice tinged with understanding. "Why don't you try telling me again how she doesn't want you?"

Gibbs swallowed the lump in his throat. Maybe Abby did need him as much as he needed her, maybe she could be his if he had the courage to tell her what he'd been holding back.

"Camilla has a day off work...I'll be back tomorrow," Mike said quietly, "don't let her go this time probie, she's already yours, all you gotta do is hold onto her."

Gibbs didn't say anything as he listened to Mike's retreating footsteps, quietness eventually surrounding him.

Walking over to the bed, he gazed down on Abby, a rush of yearning overtaking him as he watched her sleep. He wanted nothing more than to lie down next to her, take her in his arms and tell her he loved her...but after all they'd been through, he never dreamed it would be that easy.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Gibbs tentatively reached out to push some unruly tendrils of her dark hair back off Abby's face. She stirred at his touch, softly murmuring his name before her eyes had even flickered open.

"I'm here, Abbs," he said softly, caressing her cheek with the palm of his hand.

He smiled at the remembrance of the smoothness of her skin, Abby sighing and nuzzling against him. Suddenly her eyes opened, widening then recoiling as she tried to gain her bearings. "Gibbs...what are you doing here?"

Gibbs twisted on the bed so he could face her better, his thumb gently stroking over her cheek. "Wanted to see you. We need to talk...I need...to tell you some things."

Abby sat up and drew the sheet up to her chest, her movement making Gibbs drop his hand away from her face.

Her eyes blinked quickly as her gaze took in the bruise on his head. "Are you okay?...did somebody hit you?"

"Nope, just had a bit of an accident...I'm fine. Are you okay?"

She rubbed a weary hand over her face, trying to erase the remnants of sleep from her eyes with her fingers. "I'm okay, though I've been better."

When she started chewing on her bottom lip, Gibbs knew he needed to get this over quickly for both their sakes. Any grand gestures of love could wait, firstly he just had to tell her he cared about her and try and apologize for his behavior. Breaking one of his rules was in itself a big deal for him, it wasn't something he did lightly, but he knew he had to do it...to give Abby some kind of indication she was important to him, he just hoped she saw it that way too.

"Not sure where to start..." Gibbs trailed off. He shifted closer to her on the bed, hesitantly reaching out to take her hand and inwardly sighing with relief when she accepted his touch. "I messed everything up...shoulda told you, Abbs...on that first night, I should've said..."

She waited a moment for him to continue, before asking expectantly, "Said what?"

Gibbs swallowed, knowing it was now or never and this was perhaps his only chance to right the mistake he'd made. "What you and I...what we've been doing, you mean more to me than that. I want more."

Abby shuffled closer to him, taking his other hand within hers, so that all their fingers were now linked together. When she looked down at their hands but didn't say anything, Gibbs felt his stomach clench, worried that she was about to tell him it was too late.

When she finally lifted her gaze to look into his eyes, Gibbs found himself robbed of breath. Her unguarded expression gave him the strength to keep going, the warmth of her fingers entwined with his giving him the reassurance that he could tell her anything, no matter how much what she told him in response might hurt him.

"Have I ruined any chance I ever had with you?" He asked quietly.

Abby lifted one of her hands from his to push back some of the hair from his forehead, tenderly stroking over the bruise underneath.

"You'll always have a chance with me...my feelings for you have never changed."

"From what, Abbs? I don't know how you feel either, not really. I thought you were happy with what we were doing, that you didn't want it to be anything more than physical."

She slid her hand down from his forehead to cover his cheek. "As much as I want that, and need to have that connection with you, what we have will never just be about sex, Gibbs."

He took a moment to let Abby's words sink in, wanting to believe her but at the same time concerned that what she was telling him couldn't be true, not after the way he'd treated her over the last several days.

"I thought you'd found someone else." Gibbs recognized the sound of defeat in his own voice, but he wouldn't allow himself to get his hopes up only to have them shot down in flames. Before he went any further, he needed some answers. "I thought that when I told you we needed a break for a while you went out looking for someone to replace me with –"

"Gibbs!" She interrupted him, her voice raise slightly as she pulled back. "How could you even think that? I couldn't sit in my apartment on my own, with all the memories of us together wherever I looked...I had to be around people, it's the only way I can cope, you know that."

"I know...I just...I thought that maybe you weren't suffering as much as I was, that maybe I didn't mean as much to you as you do to me, figured you'd be better off without me."

"Well you were wrong," Abby said adamantly. "There is no-one else, and I wouldn't be better off. I wanted to give you some time and space...you were the one that wanted us to be apart."

Gibbs could tell she was fighting back tears as she began to rant, her hands breaking contact with him. He hadn't meant for it to sound like an accusation, but he was tired and the words weren't coming out right.

Abby had always been one of the most forgiving people he'd known but he'd hurt her, and he knew it...trying to explain to her that he knew it was going to be the hard part.

"I never meant to hurt you." Gibbs reached out for one of her hands again, taking it within both of his and smoothing his fingers over her knuckles. "Was trying to protect you, from me...didn't think you could ever need me the way I need you."

Abby threw the sheet away from her body and scooted closer to him, hesitating as she snuggled into him. Her arms wove around his waist, her bare legs leaning against his thigh. Gibbs placed his arm over her shoulders and drew her into his side, an overwhelming sense of relief flooding through him that she hadn't rejected him like he'd expected.

"I need you," she whispered next to his ear, nuzzling her face into his skin. "I just didn't want to force you into a commitment you weren't ready for."

"I came out of retirement and back to DC for you, not for work or anything else...you, Abbs."

Abby held him tighter, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek before leaning her forehead against the side of his face. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

Gibbs was beginning to wonder the same thing himself now, but in the past all he'd been able to think about was holding onto her, in whatever way he could.

Opening his mouth to tell her just that, he found the words froze in his throat and instead he merely shrugged his shoulders.

How could he tell her he needed her more than anything without overwhelming her? And how did he make her understand that without her, life had become about existing, about surviving, not about living.

Everything hung on what he said next; Gibbs could tell her the truth, or he could take the easy way out and go on living with the scars that seemed like they would never heal.

TBC...


	7. Confessions

**Chapter 7 - Confessions**

"Gibbs," Abby sighed, instantly picking up on his uncertainty and pulling back. "You need to talk to me...this is part of the reason we're in this situation, you need to trust me."

"I do trust you, not good with this stuff Abbs, never have been..."

He averted his eyes from her, awkwardness stirring in him at having to share his innermost feelings and fears with her. It wasn't solely because he'd kept his emotions from her for so long already, but also because this was a side of him she wasn't used to seeing. It wasn't the strong, hard assed special agent that could take anything that was thrown at him, it was the weak and vulnerable man who had let himself be dragged down by his emotions. He was supposed to be the protective and strong one for her, not the other way around.

"I know..." Abby said softly, placing her palm over his cheek and gently urging him to face her. "But you can tell me anything, I'm not gonna turn my back on you."

Gibbs' inability to verbalize his thoughts and feelings had been the cause of many arguments in his failed marriages, and he was determined it wouldn't be the reason his relationship with Abby went down the same path. He'd try to get over his reluctance to share things, but he knew it would take time, and it would need him to let go of the insecurities which had burdened him for a large part of his life.

Even though their faces were barely inches apart Gibbs still kept his gaze from Abby's, not wanting her to see the conflict and apprehension in his eyes. He cleared his throat, his voice barely above a whisper when he spoke.

"After waking up with you that first morning...I couldn't risk it, couldn't lose you coz you didn't feel the same."

"I do feel the same, I always have." Framing his face in her hands, Abby drew his attention to her fully, their eyes locking, and their breathing halting as Gibbs saw his feelings of longing reflected in her expression.

She was completely open to him, and Gibbs saw nothing but conviction or even a shred of hesitation when she whispered the words he didn't think he'd ever hear pass her lips. "I love you, Gibbs."

In all the times they'd been together, neither of them had said they loved the other. For Gibbs it was a way to keep his true feelings hidden, worried that she'd turn away from him the instant she thought he was getting in too deep. So to hear it come from her first, the tenderness and sincerity obvious in the tone of her voice, gave him comfort like he'd never expected.

He didn't stop to think when he responded. Instead, for the first time in weeks Gibbs followed his heart, for a fleeting moment forgetting all the doubts and anxieties.

"I love you too, Abbs." He kissed the tip of her nose before lowering his mouth to hover over hers. "I'm sorry it took me so long...that I couldn't tell you what I wanted to."

Everything he'd gone through in the last week, and everything he'd subjected himself to in the past two days now seemed irrelevant, though he was still afraid he might wake up and find everything he was experiencing was an alcohol induced illusion.

"You don't need to apologize for anything, I'm as much to blame in this...so please stop beating yourself up," she pleaded. "You don't need to drink to forget, or hide anything from me."

Hesitantly Abby swept her lips over his, Gibbs sighing at the gentleness and intimacy of the touch. It was a stark difference between the fast and furious sex they'd been having, both of them believing all the other wanted was the physical release.

"Don't wanna feel that way anymore," Gibbs admitted, closing his eyes and leaning into her. "Or have to fight any longer."

Abby's cheek brushed slowly against his, her lips ghosting over his at the same time. "You don't have to, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. I want this, us. When we're together...I feel so close to you, like we're the same person...but at the same time you're so far away. You won't let me in, won't talk to me."

With his eyes still shut, Gibbs let his senses be overtaken by her. A shiver ran through him as her breath caressed his lips, her scent inflaming his nostrils and the softness of her skin next to his making him gasp.

Every part of him ached for her and it was an ache that consumed him.

"Want to Abbs...need to..." he whispered, his voice raw with emotion. "Don't give up on me yet."

Crawling onto his lap, Abby wrapped her arms around his shoulders, burying her face in his neck.

"Why do you think I followed you all this way, Gibbs? There's only one reason I'm here and that's you. I think you're worth chasing after...and I had to know, one way or another if you wanted me in your life the way I wanna be...or if I had to try and unlove you, if that's even possible."

As she pressed soft gentle kisses up his neck, Gibbs turned to face her, their lips meeting again.

"Won't ever give up on you," Abby murmured.

His hands soothed up and down her back, the gentle motion helping to calm them both.

The last time he'd been this close to her body, had been in her apartment after he'd confronted her. This time when her legs wrapped around him though, Gibbs didn't feel the need to try and possess her, to claim Abby as his own. The only desperation he had burning through him was the desire to hold her, to relax and let his mind and heart rest for the first time in months.

Neither of them deepened the quick but gentle kisses they continued to exchange, their soft lips briefly brushing together over and over, making Gibbs sigh. "Not sure I deserve you."

"I'm sorry," she said softly, her arms linking behind his neck and her lips resting against his. "Sorry that I didn't have the courage to say what I needed to and that I didn't make you feel like you could talk to me...I'll never forgive myself for making you think you had to run away from me."

"Hey," Gibbs removed his arms from around her and held her face within his hands so he could look at her and read her body language better. "We're both to blame remember, and we both have things we need to work on to get through this."

He was under no illusion that even though they'd admitted their feelings, there would be still be things they needed to talk about and deal with; things that came as a consequence of the last several weeks, and included their hopes for the future.

"I know, I just want you to understand that I'll do anything for us to be together...really together, in every way."

"Me too, Abbs."

Silence fell over them as they lost themselves in the moment, studying the features of each other's faces and this new sense of closeness that Gibbs found he wanted to lose himself in. Gently he began to caress under her eyes with his thumbs.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" he asked, still feeling guilty for the remaining redness and tiredness evident in her eyes.

Abby pursed her lips into a sad smile and shook her head. "Not much, you were all I could think about...when you walked away I thought I'd lost you."

"Didn't mean to scare you. Wasn't ready to be confronted with everything like that, especially not when I'd come here to try and get over you."

"But now?" She prompted.

"Now I know different...guess sometimes I need a bit of a push with stuff like this, doesn't mean I care about you any less though, you know that don't ya?"

Gibbs lifted one of his hands to push some of her hair away from her face, his fingers tangling through it and sliding down to the back of her neck to draw her closer to him again.

"I do." Abby's fingers began to trace around his eyes in the same way he had done with hers just moments ago. "Did you manage to get any sleep? You look tired."

"I got a little, mostly alcohol induced, slept it off at Camilla's. She said you wouldn't have liked it if she left me out on the street."

"You talked to her about us?" Abby asked nervously.

"Don't really remember...I drank a lot, so I guess some of what I was thinking must've come up."

"I'm glad she looked after you then..."

Gibbs was certain he heard a tinge of jealousy in her voice mixed with sadness.

"Nothin' happened if that's what you're worried about. Camilla's a good woman, but she knows I love you, and she and Mike are together anyway."

"Oh." He saw her cheeks blush before she let her gaze drop. "I guess that sounded a little possessive."

Gibbs smiled for what felt like the first time in days. "Maybe a little, but you won't hear me complain, I wanna be yours...just yours."

When Abby lifted her head again, Gibbs saw a similar grin forming on her lips. "Like the sound of that, only want to be yours too."

Climbing off his lap, Abby moved over into the middle of the bed to lie down. She held out her arms and Gibbs kicked off his shoes and willingly moved between them, the front of his body aligning with hers as he pulled her close.

With their heads on the same pillow, their faces so near their breath mingled, Gibbs finally felt like he could start to let go of everything. In a way he'd been struggling with his feelings for Abby for years, but it was the last few weeks that had literally begun to drain the life out of him.

"Haven't slept more than a couple of hours at a time for a while," he mumbled sleepily. "You were all I could see, all I dreamed about."

Abby reached out, blindly searching for the sheet until she felt the soft material between her fingertips. Pulling it over their bodies, she slid her hand over the curve of his neck and brushed her lips over his several times.

"Promise me we'll be alright, Gibbs," she whispered.

"We will...I'll always look after you."

She kissed him one more time and rolled over, grabbing onto one of his hands and placing it on her stomach. "Need you to hold me."

Gibbs snuggled into her back, his arms encircling her waist and their bare legs tangling together. He trailed a pathway of kisses up her neck, his lips slowly approaching her ear.

"Won't let you go."

His voice was low when he spoke, Abby's shudder next to him not going unnoticed.

While in the past he hadn't allowed himself to take the opportunity to hold her and find joy in the simple moments of serenity, now he wanted to lay here with her forever. Before, the pain of having to eventually let her go was a loss he was unable to deal with, so he hadn't let himself indulge in instances like this.

"You can sleep now," she said softly, her fingers entwining with his. "This is real, and when you wake up I'll still be here."

Letting his eyes drift closed, Gibbs surrendered to his exhaustion, his last thoughts not of how he was going to let Abby go, but how he would do anything to keep her.

TBC...


	8. Waking Up

**Chapter 8 – Waking Up**

The first thing Abby became aware of as she broke through the haziness of sleep was the solid arms wrapped around her and the warmth that enveloped her. Taking slow steady breaths she kept her eyes closed, savoring the way his body was molded to hers and sighing contentedly when she heard his deep breathing coming from behind her.

Abby wanted to roll over and watch Gibbs as he slept, but with him barely sleeping the night before and the proceeding days, the last thing she wanted to do was wake him.

Neither of them had moved from when they'd fallen asleep, Gibbs' heavy hands resting on her abdomen and his legs entwined with hers. In all the times they'd been together, there was only a few occasions that she'd awoken to find him next to her.

Even though she was unable to see his face, Abby could sense the calmness radiating off him and it soothed her, just as his presence always did. She was all too aware of the pull he had over her, how with a look or a touch he could bring everything in her world to a complete standstill. And Abby didn't want it any other way; she wanted to immerse herself in everything about him.

It was the peaceful moments like these that had been so rare since their relationship had first changed. The intimacy, along with the comfort Abby found in just being with him, had been absent the last few weeks, so she was going to cherish every minute.

During the last few months, when they were at her apartment he'd be gone before she woke up, and if they'd been at his place Gibbs would either retreat to his basement or to sleep on the couch. Every time she woke to find him gone it tore at her heart, and even though she knew it wasn't in his nature to use her and then leave her...that was how it felt.

She hoped with the developments in their relationship that sharing the same bed all night would become a regular occurrence. Abby wanted to wake up with him like this every morning, and to not have to worry about whether he'd done a runner on her during the night.

It had become normal behavior for them that whoever was the last to wake up, always woke alone. And she was just as guilty as Gibbs was, because she'd assumed it was what he wanted Abby had left him in the middle of the night even though she wanted to stay.

Opening her eyes slightly, Abby tried to gauge what time it was since there was no clock on the bedside table. Sunlight still shone in through the curtains so she guessed it was probably the afternoon by now. Realizing it didn't matter what time it was because she had no intention of moving, she closed her eyes again.

She let her mind wander to the conversation she'd had with Gibbs. Considering how much trouble he'd always had expressing his feelings, especially since they'd started sleeping together, it filled her with hope to remember what he had shared.

Abby knew getting Gibbs to open up to her even more would be a challenge, but she was willing to help him any way he needed. If he wanted to talk she would listen, or if he needed longer to work things out in his head she would wait...if she knew they were together, waiting until he was ready would be much easier.

Feeling Gibbs stir behind her, she smiled when he nuzzled his face into her neck. He tried to shuffle closer, his fingers drawing lazy circles across her stomach and his feet sliding over hers.

"Think waking up next to you could become my favorite part of the day." His voice was husky from sleep and Abby found herself tingling with the sensations of his warm breath flowing across her skin and his gentle kisses skimming up and down her neck.

"I know it's mine," she sighed, allowing herself to give into the urge to turn over.

Settling in front of him, she moved one of her feet up between his calf muscles, her hands running over the contours of his chest. Abby's breath caught in her throat when Gibbs opened his eyes to reveal the purest slivers of blue she'd ever seen. They seemed endless, and at that moment Abby didn't think she'd ever seen him more unguarded.

"Feel any better?" she asked, inspecting the bruise on his head again with soft touches. It had darkened a bit more, the bump slightly larger, but knowing Gibbs he'd just try and pretend it wasn't there.

"A little, might take a few nights to catch up on sleep. How about you?"

"Same." She paused for a moment, wondering whether or not she should bring up the thoughts she'd been having before he woke, eventually deciding that since this had been part of their problem in the first place that she needed to be honest with him now. "I want this every day Gibbs...or at least to know if you leave me alone in bed you'll be coming back."

The palm of his hand covered her cheek, and Abby briefly let her eyes drift shut, savoring the feel of his rough skin on hers. "I always wanted to stay with you Abbs, just didn't want you to feel like I was smothering you, or to make you uncomfortable."

"Never been more comfortable than when you're holding me."

Kissing along his bottom lip, Abby heard the subtle groan that rumbled through him, her heart beat racing when Gibbs increased the pressure of his lips against hers. As he deepened the kiss Abby threaded her fingers through his hair, their tongues teasingly brushing together, slowly stroking and sliding.

When the need for oxygen became too great Abby pulled back from him, gently sucking on his tongue when he withdrew it from her mouth.

"You been awake long?" Gibbs asked, trying to catch his breath.

"Nope, only a few minutes."

"Are you gonna stay?"

His question took her by surprise, even though Abby had expected it would come up eventually. She'd only booked a one way ticket to get here, unsure of exactly what would happen once she was face to face with Gibbs.

While she'd been hopeful of spending some time with him, she'd known there was every chance she would have to turn around not long after she arrived and go home...which she almost had done.

"I want to," she answered shyly, "but if you still need some space to work through everything that's happened, I understand."

If Gibbs asked her to leave it would upset her, but at least this time she'd have some reassurance that things were changing between them.

"Don't need space Abbs, want you to stay...it'll give us some time together before we have to go back to work. When do you have to go back?"

"I told the director I'd be home when you were..."

Gibbs' eyebrow rose. "You tell her, about us?"

"No, but I think maybe she guessed something was going on," she nervously chewed on her bottom lip before continuing. "I might have been a little frantic when no-one could tell me where you were."

Gibbs closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers. "Didn't mean to worry you," he said through clenched teeth.

Suddenly all of the worries Abby had about him leaving were spilling out, her ability to hold them in gone as fear tightened its grip on her. She couldn't bear the thought that she could lose him; that her own behavior may contribute to her pushing away the one man she'd only ever really loved. Abby had to make Gibbs understand he was the reason for everything she did, and how she would live with the regret for the rest of her life if she lost him.

"It was like your last trip to Mexico was happening all over again. I didn't know if you were ever coming back then, and I couldn't go through that again...I couldn't take the chance you would never come home. I miss you Gibbs, when I'm not with you, I miss you. I did then and I still do now, that won't ever change."

When his arms surrounded her, his embrace so tight Abby could feel his heart pounding next to hers, she buried her face in his neck and gripped onto him just as forcefully.

"Miss you too," he whispered. "Not gonna run from you anymore."

Abby let out a deep sigh at his words, her fingers clinging onto the fabric of his t-shirt against his back. "All I want is to be with you, everything else we can work on as we go."

"Want that too Abby, but I've got a lot of baggage...some things are gonna take longer than others."

"I know, but you've seen so much evil and been through so much Gibbs, you deserve to be happy...we both do. There has to be some light in among all the darkness and you're it for me. We'll get through whatever we need to as long as we talk."

Being able to tell one another anything had once been the strongest part of their relationship, and Abby knew that both of them putting up walls to protect themselves, and each other, had severely damaged that. It would take time to get things back to the way they were, but she couldn't deny that the progress they'd made since Gibbs had returned to the cabin was a good sign.

Gibbs released his hold on her slightly so he could pull back and look at her, kissing the tip of her nose before he spoke. "You sure you can put up with me?"

"I'm sure," she smiled, "and you know I'm no angel right?"

Gibbs grinned at her, his hand moving down to settle on her hip. "Oh, I know you're no angel...not with the things you do with your mouth and hands..."

Easing her grip on his t-shirt, Abby smoothed her hands down to his lower back, her fingers slipping just under the waistband of the cargo shorts he still wore.

Her smile widened as her lips teased his with a series of quick kisses, Gibbs' intense stare sending a raging surge of desire through her.

"Where's Mike?" She asked, her teeth gently tugging on his bottom lip.

"Not here. It's just you and me."

Pushing Gibbs over onto his back, Abby straddled his hips and sat back to look down on him. She took in the rapid rise and fall of his chest, his eyes unblinking and completely focused on her, and a subtle gasp escaping him when she circled her hips.

"I want you, Gibbs..." she trailed off, unsure of how to tell him she needed this time between them to be different.

Gibbs sat up, forcing their upper bodies to touch just as closely as their groins were. One of his hands slid around the back of her neck to hold her still while he kissed her, the other fumbling with her t-shirt to slip underneath and glide over her back.

"It's okay Abbs...gonna take it slow, not rushing this time, need to show you how much I love you."

TBC...


	9. Reaffirming Connections

This is where the rating changes to M :) Thanks for all of the lovely reviews and for hanging in through the angst...everyone on board the smut/fluff train :p

* * *

**Chapter 9 - Reaffirming Connections**

The instant Abby felt Gibbs' hand running over her skin she gasped at the gentleness of his touch. His fingers mapped their way along her spine, while his lips teased hers apart, tentatively seeking permission for his tongue to delve into her mouth.

She darted her tongue out to flick against his repeatedly, their kisses deepening when Gibbs began exploring inside her mouth. He'd always been a good kisser, but without the sense of desperation hurrying them along, Abby wasn't entirely certain he wouldn't be able to make her come just by feeling the softness of his lips against hers and the moist smoothness of his tongue as it tangled with hers.

Reaching down she took hold of the bottom of his t-shirt, lifting it until its removal was hindered by the continual action of their lips meeting.

"Gibbs..." she moaned into his mouth.

"Gonna kiss every inch of you," he breathed as they broke apart.

Abby lifted the t-shirt over his head and threw it onto the floor. She pushed him back on the bed, following him down to begin a trail of kisses from his shoulder down towards his nipple.

Sliding backwards a little, she felt the slight bulge forming under her stomach when she took Gibbs' nipple into her mouth. Scraping across it with her teeth, she licked over it before moving to the other one to do the same thing.

Gibbs tried to reach for her t-shirt, his fingers grabbing hold of it but unable to pull it over her head as she kissed across the expanse of his chest. Her hands ran up and down his sides while her lips and tongue continue to leave a trail of moistness over his skin.

"Abbs, need to touch you."

She stopped at his entreaty, hearing the pleading tone in his voice, and looked up at him. Gibbs' head was lifted up off the pillow, the lust in his darkening eyes evident.

Sitting up Abby took a hold of her t-shirt and lifted it over her head. From his prone position under her, Gibbs' large hands slid around her waist, the roughness of his hands as they explored her skin increasing the ache in her lower belly.

She hadn't forgotten what his hands felt like on her, and she doubted she ever would. The feeling of the callouses on his palms and fingers grazing over her sensitive flesh was enough to have her begging for more.

When Gibbs lifted both of his hands to cover her bare breasts, Abby couldn't stop herself from grinding down into him. He rolled her nipples under his thumbs, Abby's body rocking into his growing erection. The friction of her moistening underwear against her, combined with the feel of his hardness was rapidly sending her towards an orgasm that she desperately wanted to prolong.

As if picking up on her thoughts Gibbs rolled them over, pinning her under his solid body. Abby parted her legs and he settled between them, his hands moving back to her breasts as she drew him into a kiss.

"I wanna feel you everywhere," Abby moaned when the kiss came to a natural end.

"That's good," Gibbs grinned against her mouth, "coz I'm gonna touch you everywhere."

Lowering himself down her body, Gibbs' lips tasted the creamy skin of her neck, shoulders and stomach, his tongue tracing over each tattoo he encountered. Avoiding her chest, he let his hands map out the suppleness of her breasts, his fingers rolling and tweaking the hardened peaks and his palms cupping their fullness.

Making his way further south, Abby thrust her hips up when he kissed the front of her panties. Gripping onto either side of them, Gibbs slowly slid the material down her legs, kissing down the insides of her legs as he moved.

Resting back on his heels, he removed the underwear completely from her body and let his gaze travel over her.

In all the times they'd been together, he'd never really stopped to take in all of her body, their eagerness to be joined and find their release overcoming any desire to absorb all of each other.

"Never told you how beautiful you are," Gibbs said softly, his attempted apology not lost on her.

"You're telling me now, and I'll see it every time you look at me."

His eyes moved away from hers to focus between her open thighs and Abby felt the steady beat vibrating deep within her core pick up momentum when Gibbs leaned forward so his face was hovering over her.

He gripped lightly onto her hip with one hand, the other slipping a finger between her slick folds. Instinctively Abby cried out as Gibbs' strong digit slid along the length of her damp flesh, lazily circling the swollen bud that had her trying to buck her hips up.

"So wet, Abbs," he murmured, his hot breath caressing her as his finger gently pushed inside her.

Abby instantly began to clench her internal muscles around his finger which was soon joined by a second one. Panting, she watched as he lowered his face, his tongue flattening over her clit as he tasted her, his fingers moving in and out of her.

Unable to keep still at the barrage of sensations, Abby began thrusting herself up towards his mouth.

"Oh God..." She groaned out, her hands settling on top of Gibbs' head and tangling in his hair.

As her movements became more erratic Gibbs withdrew his fingers from her to hold her hips down better. Abby crossed her ankles behind him, the action giving him a better angle to plunge his tongue into her heat.

Abby felt his lips on her, their softness nibbling and alternating with the probing and licking motions of his tongue. Not even attempting to hold back her moans of pleasure, her head thrashed on the pillow as she begged for more, writhing underneath him.

With a final flick of his tongue over her swollen clit Abby felt her orgasm crash over her, her back arching off the bed and her muscles contracting in a flash of ecstasy. Her hands held onto his head tightly, her heels digging into his back as her entire body tensed and a cry of pure pleasure was torn from her throat.

Gibbs continued to taste her, his tongue delving into her, his caresses over her quivering body slow and delicate with each shudder that ran through her. She loosened her grip on him and fell back onto the mattress, a smile lighting up her face when he lifted his head.

"God, Gibbs," she exhaled loudly. "I'm liking this idea of waking up together more every minute."

He chuckled and began to make his way back up her body, his lips halting when he reached the valley between her breasts. Veering off to the right, his lips sealed over the rosy nipple, suckling and teasing it gently between his teeth.

"I gotta say I'm a big fan of it too," he smirked against her skin, moving over to the other breast to repeat the same action.

When he finally reached her mouth, Abby whimpered as his swollen lips and tongue began to carry out the same erotic torture on her mouth as he had done between her legs.

"I wanna see you," Abby whispered when they finally broke the kiss, both of them struggling for air.

Although she'd seen Gibbs naked plenty of times, this was different. This time she'd be able to show all of her emotions and tell him exactly how he made her feel.

Climbing off her, Gibbs stood beside the bed, the evidence of his arousal more than a little obvious in the front of his shorts. He reached for the button at the top of his shorts and undid it, his fingers dropping to the zipper when Abby's raised voice halted his movement.

"Wait! Let me do it."

She sat up and scooted over to the edge of the bed, her fingers eagerly finding his zipper and slowly lowering it. His shorts fell to the floor and Abby slid her hands around over his hips to his ass to bring him closer.

Following the trail of hair that led down his stomach with her lips, she nipped at the skin above the waistband of his boxers before easing the obstructing piece of clothing over his hardness and down his legs.

Abby felt lust flare up in her once more at the sight of his straining erection. Just as Gibbs had done, she took a moment to absorb everything about his masculine body. The muscled shoulders and arms that led down to his toned chest and stomach, covered with the splattering of hair that she loved to run her fingers through. His powerful and lean legs that lead up to a trim waist and a taut ass, not to mention the fully hardened and weeping cock that was now awaiting her attention.

"Never told you how sexy you are," she said, echoing his earlier sentiments. "How much you turn me on."

When her eyes lifted to his, Abby found him grinning in smug satisfaction. Giving Gibbs her own devilish smile she leaned forward and took the tip of his cock into her mouth.

"Abbs..."

She giggled at his reaction, his hands resting on top of her head as she swirled her tongue around him and licked off the beads of moisture. Abby knew it wouldn't take much to finish him off, not only was he impossibly hard but she'd driven him to the edge enough times with her mouth that she was all too aware of what he liked.

"Wait...Abby..."

He gently placed his hands on either side of her face and raised her head. "I want that, god you have no idea how much I want that, but I wanna be inside you more."

"Want that too," she admitted.

Shuffling back into the middle of the bed Abby lay down and Gibbs quickly followed her, covering her body with his own. Settling between her thighs, they both gasped when his hardness brushed against her still sensitive flesh.

Gibbs placed his hands on either side of her shoulders, kissing her tenderly before he spoke. "You okay? I can wait if you need more time."

Abby felt a sudden rush of love for him; he was willing to put up with being uncomfortable if she wasn't ready. Just when she thought she loved him as much as was humanly possible, Gibbs proved her wrong.

"I'm ready, I'll always be ready for you."

Reaching between them, Abby stroked along his length with her fingers before guiding him inside her. Her body responded to him instantly, her inner walls fluttering around him as he pushed slowly in until every hot and hard inch of him was throbbing inside her.

Abby let her eyes drift closed, focusing on the way he felt, on top of her and within her. This was about more than just being joined for the purpose of their body's release. It was about reaffirming the connection of their hearts and souls, and it was about getting back some of the things which had been lost.

Looking into Gibbs' eyes, so full of love and understanding, Abby knew with complete certainty that he was the only thing that mattered to her. If everything fell apart around her, she'd be alright as long as she had him.

"I love you, Gibbs."

Tilting her pelvis and linking her legs around him, Gibbs slipped in a bit further. Abby held her breath, not only at him being buried so deep, but at the raw emotion in his voice and his gaze when he spoke. "Love you too...always."

Finally feeling like she could let go of some of her pent up frustration, anger and pain, she wrapped her arms around Gibbs' neck and surged up into him. "I need you."

Gibbs pressed a kiss to her forehead, then rested all his weight on one elbow, his other hand gripping onto her hip as he began to move in her. His skin rubbing against her and inside her sent every nerve ending in her body into a frenzy, his solid weight pressing down into her. It was a feeling of completion unlike anything she'd known before; all she cared about in that moment was how he filled her.

His thrusts started slow, gradually working Abby's still heightened sense of arousal up to its peak. With the feel of him sliding in and out of her it didn't take long before her soft gasps of yearning turned into guttural moans of desire.

Picking up the pace Gibbs found a steady rhythm, each of his strokes drawing a groan of satisfaction from him as their slick bodies moved in perfect time. Abby's nails scratched down his back when he moved his hand from her hip to clench at the sheet beside her.

"Close, Abbs..."

Reaching down to grab his ass Abby ground up against him, finding the right amount of pressure where she needed it to send her over the edge. She muffled her scream of release into his neck, her body rippling around him as Gibbs' hips erratically jerked against hers.

Almost simultaneously Gibbs' body tensed above her as his orgasm shook through him. His neck corded under the strain, a final grunt of pleasure escaping him when he buried his face into her shoulder.

Abby felt the shudders that continued to roll through him as he fought to keep his weight off her while still remaining inside her. It was another aspect of their times together that they hadn't allowed themselves to indulge in; holding onto the closeness after the physical act was finished.

Trembling through the aftershocks together, their bodies slowly began to calm, their gentle touches over moist and flushed skin soothing them both.

Eventually Gibbs rolled off her, Abby gasping when he slipped from her body. Enfolding her within his arms Gibbs pulled her into his side and Abby nestled against his chest, her fingers tracing patterns through his chest hair.

"Gonna be more like that from now on Abbs, don't want you to ever doubt how I feel about you."

Abby sighed and draped her leg over his. For the first time in weeks, she felt like Gibbs was hers...really hers. They still had a lot to get through together, but knowing that he loved her the same way she loved him, that he'd do whatever he had to in getting her to understand that, filled her with an immense sense of relief.

"I don't...not anymore."

TBC...


	10. Returning Familiarity

**Chapter 10 - Returning ****Familiarity**

They lay in bed still entwined for a while longer until Abby decided to get up and have a shower. Even though Gibbs had showered earlier that morning it didn't stop him from joining her; he was eager to make the most of their time alone until Mike returned.

Gibbs took his time washing over her soft wet skin, lathering up some of her vanilla body wash and running his hands all over her. None of her was left untouched as he worked his fingers over her, committing every detail of every curve to his memory. When he moved to her hair, massaging some shampoo in the dark silky strands, he couldn't keep the smile from his lips at Abby's soft moan.

It was moments like this that he felt had been missing over the last few weeks. While they should've been enjoying the early stages of their relationship, exploring and learning more about each other, they'd done the opposite and turned away from one another. A mistake which Gibbs was determined to make up for now.

Standing behind Abby, Gibbs glided his fingers over her flat stomach and let himself finally come to terms with what was happening between them, and how things were changing...the union of their bodies had been about so much more than a physical release. This time had been how he'd envisioned what it would be like for their first time; slow, tender, and a declaration of his feelings for her.

While he didn't doubt sometimes their need for each other could only be satisfied by him taking her hard and fast, the difference now was that they knew every time they came together it was out of love. No longer born out of anxiety or desperation brought on by the fear of losing each other, Gibbs finally felt like he could start to give her all of himself.

He took some comfort in knowing Abby was his now as well, there hadn't been anyone else, even though he'd pushed her away.

Gibbs wasn't sure what he'd done for her to love him so completely, but he was prepared to do what he needed to hold onto her now they had both admitted the true depth of their feelings.

Hearing Abby sigh as she leaned back against him, Gibbs chuckled and kissed his way across her shoulder.

"I take it you're enjoying this then?" he smirked, one of his hands moving down over her hip.

Abby smiled against his lips when she twisted her head to kiss him. "What gave you that idea?"

They'd already been in the shower ten minutes, a thick cover of steam filling the room, but Gibbs was more than happy to stay there until the water ran cold. He'd angled the shower head so it sprayed just below shoulder height, stopping the water from spraying in their faces but allowing it to flow over their bodies and aid in his efforts to re-familiarize himself with every inch of Abby's porcelain skin.

"Think I can hear you purring," Gibbs teased, fighting back a groan when Abby rubbed her back against him.

"Waited so long for this Gibbs...to not have to rush, to not think about anything else but you and how you make me feel." She turned within his arms, her hands sliding down over his lower back to eventually cover his ass. "To be able to touch you and not wonder if I'm giving too much away or going too far."

"No need to hold back anymore." Gibbs covered her lips with his, the kiss gentle and slow as they both surrendered to the desire to once again reaffirm the connection that was beginning to re-establish between them.

Deepening the kiss Abby's hands rested on his chest, pushing Gibbs under the stream of water in the process. She giggled against his mouth as the water fell on his head and down over his face. Gibbs shook his head, splashing water over her before leaning down to playfully nip along her collarbone with his teeth.

Abby speared her fingers through his wet ruffled hair, pressing kisses to the top of his head as she spoke. "If you're gonna be like this all the time, I definitely won't be able to hold back."

Feeling a sudden pang of guilt deep in his chest, Gibbs wrapped his arms tightly around her and turned them so the stream of water was beating down on his back.

Sometimes he found it so hard to find the right words but he wanted to try, after everything Abby had put up with he needed to make the effort, for her. She'd turned his world upside down, so much so that he was willing to break every rule he had for her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered against her skin, making his way up to her neck. "Sorry that I was a bastard...that I hurt you. I can't take it back Abbs, I want to but it's too late...would've carried all the pain and regret on my own to save you from it."

Abby's arms wove around his waist. "It's not too late, we're both making things right, together. And we share everything Gibbs, the bad stuff as well as the good stuff."

When Gibbs lifted his head, he found himself speechless at the expression of honesty and forgiveness in her eyes. He rested his forehead against Abby's, taking a deep breath then kissing the corner of her lips. "Not gonna take any of this...or you, for granted, Abby."

"You never have done."

Gibbs wanted to believe her but knew deep down that he had taken her and their relationship for granted, and he was determined to make it up to her. After all they'd been through he hoped making her realize how much he loved her would be the easy part.

"You gonna give me a wash?" he asked, trying to bring back their earlier playful mood.

Abby grinned and reached for the body wash. "Try and stop me."

"Gonna smell like a cake," Gibbs smirked as she drizzled some of the vanilla smelling liquid into her hand and proceeded to work it into soapy suds over his chest with her fingers.

"It'll give me another reason to want to kiss you and taste you then."

"You prepared to test that theory later?" Gibbs questioned when she moved her hands over his stomach, her fingers circling around his belly button before dropping lower.

Even though his body was sated from their joining a short time ago, Gibbs couldn't stop himself from thrusting towards her hand when her fingers lightly began to wash his groin, gently massaging the vanilla body wash over him.

"Hopefully sooner rather than later," she grinned, leaning in to kiss him.

Gibbs groaned when her hand left him to wander around to his back, the other joining it to slide up either side of his spine. He pulled her up against the front of his body, her fingers gliding lower and eventually stopping over the hollow at the base of his back. He instinctively jerked against her when she massaged the area, his own hands following her curves to cover her backside.

Abby traveled over every muscled inch of his body with eager hands, taking satisfaction in the way he moaned or whispered her name when her fingers smoothed over a sensitive spot or she teased him with promising kisses.

When they eventually got out of the shower, Abby managed to rustle up some sandwiches from the food Mike had in his fridge and cupboards, Gibbs making them both a cup of coffee at the same time.

As they sat propped up against the pillows in bed eating, Gibbs rested the hand closest to Abby on her thigh. She had put his t-shirt back on, along with a pair of her own sweatpants.

"This is nice," Gibbs smiled between mouthfuls of his sandwich.

"It is...how's the bump on your head?"

Gibbs popped the last bit of his sandwich in his mouth and raised his hand to feel the lump on his head. "It's fine, forgot it was there...guess you distracted me."

"You going to tell me how you got it?" Abby placed her plate down on the bedside table and snuggled into his side, her hand roaming over the t-shirt that covered his upper body before settling over his heart. "You can tell me anything Gibbs, you should know that now."

"I do, it's just..."

He trailed off, ashamed of the way he'd acted and not wanting to admit it to Abby.

"Drank too much and lost in an altercation with a table," he finally mumbled.

Abby lifted her hand to place it over his cheek, Gibbs relenting when she gently urged him to face her. "There's no need for you to be embarrassed Gibbs, I was pretty tempted to get blind drunk too."

Putting his plate aside, Gibbs slid down the bed, taking Abby with him. Pushing her hair back behind her ear, his fingers then tenderly traced over her eyebrows, down the side of her face, before his feather light touches caressed over her lips. "Still can't believe you're here...that you came all this way for me."

"There's nowhere else I wanna be."

Letting out a deep sigh Gibbs moved a little further down the bed so his head was level with Abby's chest. Pulling her closer he nuzzled his face against her, twisting slightly so he could hear her heartbeat next to his ear. He let the steady rhythm calm him, her presence soothing him as he once again let her lull him to sleep.

* * *

A few hours later Abby sat on Gibbs' lap on one of the deck chairs, both of them watching as the sun descended and caused an explosion of colors across the ocean. As Abby lay back against him, her head on his shoulder and her backside nestled between his parted thighs, Gibbs alternated between circling his fingers over her stomach and pressing lingering kisses up and down the side of her neck.

It had been months since Abby had felt this much at peace; the silence that had fallen over them was comfortable and no longer laced with a sense of uneasiness. She was beginning to feel like the happiness she once thought was impossible was now taking a hold of her, of them both.

And while they both understood there were lots of things they would have to deal with in the coming weeks, there was one thing in particular that was weighing on Abby's mind that they needed to discuss before they left Mexico.

"Can we tell them?" She asked hesitantly, pausing for a moment before going on. "When we get home, can we tell the team?"

Abby held her breath when Gibbs stopped his gentle exploration of her pulse point with his lips and tongue, hoping he wasn't going to clam up on her again.

"That what you want?"

He reclined against the chair, Abby letting her breath out when his hands began moving across her back.

"I want them to know...I don't want to have to hide that I love you anymore, and I don't want the added stress of worrying about people finding out, was kinda hoping we could move beyond that...have a normal relationship."

Abby somehow managed to turn and manoeuvre herself on his lap so she was facing him. Placing her hands on his shoulders she watched for any signs of hesitation or fear in his eyes...but there were none. Instead she felt her chest tighten when his lips curled up in a boyish smile.

"Normal's gonna be a little different for us, Abbs...we did this the hard way."

"It makes it even sweeter then," she whispered against his lips.

Gibbs quickly kissed her, his hands settling on her waist. "I'm okay with it if you wanna tell 'em."

To Abby this was a show of his commitment to them moving on together. By agreeing to bring their relationship out into the open for everyone to see, she knew he was serious about them.

"Just want you to be happy," he continued on. "All that matters to me is that you know how I feel about you."

"I do." Resting her full weight against him, Abby snuck her hands under his t-shirt to smooth up his sides, closing her eyes at the warmth of his skin under hers. "I'm happy if I have you, Gibbs."

They sat wrapped in each other's arms, quietly talking and exchanging tender touches and kisses for a while after darkness fell, both of them reluctant to break the intimacy. But when Abby could no longer contain her yawns, Gibbs shuffled forward with her in his lap to the edge of the chair, both of them laughing when they almost ended up on the floor.

Abby crossed her legs behind his back as Gibbs used all his strength to push them both up, balancing unsteadily to try and prevent them going head first off the porch and into the sand.

"Might have to get you doing some weight training if you're gonna be carrying me to bed all the time," Abby teased with her face nuzzled into his neck.

"Only one kind of workout I'm interested in," Gibbs chuckled, closing the door behind them and walking towards the bedroom. "But I think both of us need the sleep."

As soon as Gibbs had placed Abby down on the edge of bed, she pulled him down with her, both of them tumbling in a pile of limbs and laughter.

When they eventually settled in the middle of the bed, facing each other with their arms and legs entwined, Abby found that as tired as she was she didn't want to stop looking at him.

"I can't wait to dream about you," she said kissing him gently as her eyes fluttered closed, "almost as much as I can't wait to wake up next to you."

TBC...

* * *

A/N: *tag*...that's two for the price of one, gosgirl and ncislove...which one of you is next? :p


	11. Making New Memories

**Chapter 11 – Making New Memories**

There was no mistaking the feel of her body on top of his, her hands slowly pushing up his t-shirt, the subtle pressure of her weight pressing into him and her soft skin smoothing over his as she moved.

Fighting to open his eyes Gibbs smiled when he looked down to find the top of her dark head disappearing under the sheet that covered them.

"Take it you've had enough sleep then Abbs?" He mumbled.

"You could say that. I got a little excited when I woke up and felt this against me."

Abby placed her hands down on the bed on either side of him and lifted her upper body up so she could grind into him. Gibbs moaned at the friction of her between his parted legs, her stomach rubbing against his semi-hardened length.

Gibbs took a hold of the sheet and lifted it up so he could watch her creeping lower down his body. He could tell she was naked from the silky skin that slid over him, one of his hands reaching out to touch her bare shoulder as her face hovered above his rapidly tenting boxers.

"Thought I could take care of it for you," she suggested, a single finger lightly caressing him.

The mischievous grin she gave him upon lifting her eyes to meet his was pure lust, and Gibbs shifted his hips up off the bed ever so slightly, more than ready to give in to what she was offering.

"Don't let me stop ya..." He lifted his hips up higher as Abby took hold of the waistband of his boxers, lowering the material over his hardening erection.

Not bothering to remove his boxers completely, Abby slid them down just far enough so they were out of her way, her arms resting along his thighs. "I never did get to determine yesterday whether you tasted like a cake or not did I?"

A deep groan from Gibbs was his only answer as he watched her lick her lips, her face close to his groin.

"You know what the best part of a cake is?" She asked, slowly licking along the length of him, then taking the head of his swelling cock in her mouth to suck gently.

Her voice was tinged with desire and her own arousal when she flicked her tongue over him again before answering her own question "The cream..."

"You two want me to close that door?"

The sound of Mike's voice from out in the hall made both of them freeze, Gibbs lifting his gaze from where Abby's lips still encased him. Her eyes were wide, cheeks flushed, and Gibbs just hoped she didn't react too quickly with him still in her mouth or things could turn from pleasure into pain in a second.

"Didn't mean to interrupt," Mike chuckled, still out of Gibbs' view of the open doorway and clearly amused by their silence. "Just wanted to let ya know I was here."

"You're a saint," Gibbs called out, rolling his eyes as Abby gently let him slip from her mouth and crawled up his body to lie next to him, using the sheet to cover her naked skin.

"Guess I don't need to ask how things went then." Mike stepped in front of the door, a smug grin on his face.

"Things are...much better now, aren't they Gibbs?" Abby smiled tenderly at him, one of her hands keeping the sheet held to her chest, the other reaching out for his fingers to entwine with hers.

"Yep."

Gibbs leaned over to kiss her forehead, happy that Mike was the first one to find out about their relationship. A real relationship, not what they'd been trying to pass off as one up until now.

"'bout time too. Well, I need a feed," he said changing the subject and grabbing hold of the door handle to close it. "You two carry on, though keep the noise down, it's meant to be peaceful here."

Within seconds the door was closed and he was gone, Abby smothering her giggles into Gibbs' chest. "That was slightly embarrassing."

"Slightly frustrating too," Gibbs admitted, rolling over on top of her and nudging between her legs.

Kissing his way from her lips down to her breast, he circled his tongue around her nipple and began rubbing his still hard length against her thigh. Abby parted her legs wider, whimpering as she held him to her chest and arched her back when Gibbs' tongue licked a trail across to her other nipple whispering. "Think you can be quiet?"

A loud knock on the door prevented her from answering. "Abby, there's a phone call for ya."

Gibbs groaned, his face falling forward onto the swell of her breast. The prospect of having her mouth surrounding his heated flesh had gotten him aroused quickly, but with Mike's appearance and Abby now having to talk to whoever was calling, it was increasingly looking like he'd have to hold onto his frustration for a while longer.

Rolling off her, Gibbs pressed a quick kiss to Abby's lips as he collapsed against the pillows and pulled his boxers up.

"Raincheck," she promised. "Tonight, once Mike's asleep I'll make it up to you."

"Gonna hold you to that," he grinned at her, taking a deep breath and trying to get his raging hormones under control.

"You can come in, Mike," Abby called out.

Gibbs frowned at Mike when he walked in with Abby's cell phone in his hand.

"Damn thing kept ringin' so I figured it must've been important. Remember what I said about it being peaceful 'round here?"

He turned and walked back out, this time leaving the door open.

Gibbs sat up, making sure Abby was still covered with the sheet as he sat on the edge of the bed and listened to her talk. He wasn't going to attempt to stand up until he'd quashed his arousal, which wasn't easy with Abby sitting in bed next to him naked.

"Yeah, Tony, I'm fine...and so is Gibbs," Abby said, soothing her hand up and down his back "We're with Mike Franks. I'm sorry I forgot to call, I meant to yesterday but I got side tracked and lost track of time."

He waited, wondering if she would tell Tony their news over the phone. Not that he minded, but he would rather be there in person to stop any remarks or rumors that might upset Abby in any way.

"We'll be home in a couple of days," she continued, "both of us."

Gibbs smiled at the sentiment behind her words; they'd be going home together.

Abby had called the airline yesterday after they'd talked to book a seat on the same flight as him. So now they had a couple more days to spend together before they had to get back to the reality of their other commitments.

Heading to the bathroom when he was confident he'd calmed down enough, Gibbs left Abby to talk to Tony then went to make them both some coffee.

"That was bad timing," Mike smirked when he walked into the kitchen.

"Ya think?!"

"Glad you sorted it out probie, you look better, and happier, already."

Gibbs smiled when he heard Abby's laughter filter out from the bedroom.

"It's all her. Just being around her..." He trailed off, lost for words to describe exactly how Abby affected him, and feeling somewhat relieved when Mike helped him out.

"You hold onto her, she'll change your life for the better if you let her."

"She already has," Gibbs admitted, reflecting on the massive change in his state of mind since he'd first arrived in Mexico.

Mike patted him lightly on the back, turning his attention back to the sandwich he was constructing on the bench when Abby walked out of the bedroom.

"Everything okay?" Gibbs asked her, taking in her now fully clothed body.

"Tony says hi to you both. He tried to tell me the director was worried about us and asked him to call but he's not fooling anyone, especially me."

Abby took the cup of coffee Gibbs handed her and leaned into his side as she drank. "I think he'll be glad to see us both back home."

"Wanna make the most of some time alone first." Gibbs said quietly, kissing her cheek.

He pulled back when Mike cleared his throat. "Just don't forget who else is here...you know the guy who's roof your sleeping, and whatever else, under. Which reminds me, Camilla's comin' over for dinner tonight, she wanted to meet Abby."

"She wants to meet me?" Abby asked, nervously fidgeting beside Gibbs.

"Of course...wants to see for herself the woman who managed to break through the tough exterior of Leroy Jethro Gibbs."

"So I should cook something then?" Abby broke away from Gibbs, hurrying over to look in the fridge. "I'm gonna need to go into town and get some things, coz you've got next to nothing, you're as bad as Gibbs."

Mike raised an eyebrow then looked from Abby to Gibbs and back to Abby again. "No need, Camilla will bring everything."

He turned and walked outside, letting out a relaxed sigh when he sat back in one of the deck chairs.

Gibbs pulled Abby into his arms, rubbing his nose along hers gently. "If you wanna go into town I'll take you, we can do whatever you want...I've got no place to be except for where you are."

"Maybe we should give Mike some time alone here, since we've kinda thrown his peaceful little world into turmoil the last couple of days. You can take me out for lunch..."

Gibbs watched her closely as she trailed off then started to play with the material of his t-shirt, suddenly realizing what she was getting at. "You mean like for our first real date, out in public and all that?"

"Yeah," she blushed, "we never really had anything like that."

"Think I can manage that."

Tempted by the softness of her lips, Gibbs brushed his briefly over hers before deepening the kiss. They were out of view from Mike, so Gibbs let himself be swept away by the torrent of emotions she brought out him, coercing her mouth gently open with his tongue so he could slide it along hers.

Abby moaned at the slowness of the caress, both of them so absorbed in each other that the coffee machine could've exploded and they would've continued the gentle dance of their lips.

"You sure you don't wanna stay here in the bedroom and blockade the door?" Gibbs teased when they eventually separated.

"Tempting," Abby breathed against his lips. "But I'm ready to show you off to the world."

Gibbs could understand where she was coming from, because in a way he felt the same. As much as he wanted to spend all their time alone, he knew doing normal every day things that couples usually did together was important to Abby. He wanted to show her he was prepared to make the effort to do those kind of things, and he also wanted the chance to spoil her.

"You go have a shower and get ready, I'll check with Mike that he doesn't need the truck."

Abby flung her arms around his neck and kissed him quickly before excitedly hurrying off to the bedroom to gather her clothes and the things she needed to get ready.

When he'd run away from her just days ago, Gibbs had never let himself hope that he and Abby would ever go on a date together. They may have gotten to the first date stage in a backwards way, but he was determined to show Abby that wasn't going to be a sign of things to come in the rest of their relationship.

* * *

A couple of hours later Gibbs and Abby were snugly cramped into the seat of a dodgem car at a local fair.

Gibbs had taken her to lunch at a local diner, and they'd talked and ate, trying to maintain physical contact as much as possible. He'd never been one to show displays of affection in public, but by simply holding her hand or resting an arm across her shoulder a sense of contentment and belonging came over them both.

When they had left the diner and Abby had seen the fair on further down the street, she'd pleaded with Gibbs to take her. He'd rarely been able to refuse her anything in the past, so it was impossible for him to even try now.

Searching for something they could do together, Abby had managed to talk him into having a go on the dodgem cars. Instead of them both taking a car each Abby had wedged herself in next to Gibbs, and although he had absolutely no idea how they were going to get out, he wasn't complaining at having her body pressed up against him so tightly.

"You know for the reserved man that a lot of people think you are, you do some adrenaline pumping things Gibbs...fast cars, hot sex..." she teased, her hand sliding over his thigh and stopping just before his groin.

Gibbs smirked and chanced a glance at her before returning his eyes to the track ahead of them. "Shame we've gotta be back for dinner, coulda made a stop off on the way to Mike's and combined the two...although I'd hardly call that truck fast."

When their time ran out in the car, Abby somehow managed to wriggle free in among Gibbs' comments about being flexible, and they continued on walking around the fair.

Seeing a teddy bear at the back of one of the shooting games that was dressed like a goth, Gibbs decided to put his sniper skills into action and try and win it for her.

Even with Abby's arms wrapped around him from behind, knowing exactly how distracting she was, Gibbs took out all the targets with only the slightest flinch when she kissed the back of his neck.

Taking the bear when he gave it to her, Abby's face lit up with a radiant smile, her fingers linking with his as she leaned into him. "That's more brownie points for you later."

Gibbs chuckled as they walked off, squeezing her hand gently. "It's worth it just to see you smile, Abbs. Anything is."

When Abby came to a standstill beside him, Gibbs stopped as well, confused when he noticed her eyes had glazed over.

"Thank you, Gibbs. I've thought about a day like this, our first date, so many times. All I want is to spend time with you...you make me feel special."

"You are special." He lifted her hand to kiss the back of it tenderly. "Special enough to start calling me Jethro too."

"Really? You sure?" she asked, shifting her weight nervously on her feet.

"I'm sure, Abbs, it's time."

She threw her arms around him, ignoring the people who had to walk around them. Gibbs couldn't stop himself from resting his hands on her waist, holding onto her tightly when she sighed against him.

"Love you."

Her voice was uneven as she spoke and Gibbs turned his head slightly to whisper next to her ear. "Love you, too."

Taking her hand again once they'd broken the embrace, Gibbs nodded in the direction of the truck.

"We should get going...Camilla's probably already at Mike's."

The sun was beginning to set and Gibbs was reluctant for his day with Abby to end but it meant a lot to him that they'd already started to make new memories together. It was important to him and from the smile Abby hadn't wiped off her face all day, he knew it was just as important to her.

Gibbs was also reassured by the fact that when the day was over, he could fall asleep with Abby in his arms and he no longer had to worry about what he would say to her. He could tell her everything or nothing and she'd understand that she had been the focus of his day...just as he would try and make her every day.

TBC...


	12. Impressions And Acceptance

**Chapter 12 - Impressions And Acceptance**

As they drove back to Mike's place, Abby was seated next to Gibbs, her head resting on his shoulder and her hand covering his as it sat on her thigh. They talked a little but were content to just be together and enjoy their memories of the day.

When they pulled up out the front of Mike's, Gibbs pushed open his door and hopped out, holding out his hand for Abby as she shuffled across the seat to follow him. She grabbed the teddy that he'd won for her off the seat and smiled when Gibbs squeezed her fingers gently.

Keeping their fingers entwined they walked around the porch to find Mike reclining in one of his chairs, smiling at them as they approached.

"You kids have fun?" he teased, noticing the bear in Abby's hand.

"We did! Lots!" She beamed at him. "Gibbs' shot is as straight as ever."

Movement in the cabin caught Abby's attention then she saw a woman, who she assumed was Camilla, walking out to greet them.

The nervousness Abby had been expecting didn't eventuate, instead she instantly felt at ease when Camilla smiled warmly upon seeing her hand was linked with Gibbs'.

"You must be Abby?" She said softly.

"Abbs, this is Camilla," Gibbs said, walking with her up the stairs.

Abby couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude for the woman standing in front of her, along with Mike she had played a part in finally getting her and Gibbs together...as a proper couple.

Letting go of Gibbs' hand Abby threw her arms around Camilla in an enthusiastic hug. Camilla let out a startled yelp but Abby felt the other woman's arms go around her, hearing Gibbs and Mike's chuckle behind her.

"Thank you," Abby whispered so Gibbs couldn't hear, before drawing back. "I'm happy you're here."

"And I'm glad that I finally get to meet you, I've heard a lot about you." Camilla looked at Gibbs briefly and smiled before continuing. "All true I would say from first impressions."

Abby turned to Gibbs and was certain she could see a blush rise up in his cheeks. She had no idea what he'd said about her but from his boyish reaction, Abby was determined to find out from either Camilla or Gibbs. But for now, she smiled and linked her arm through his, holding the small bear close to her side.

"You want a drink of water or something Abbs?" Gibbs asked. "We walked a fair bit today."

"I'll get us a drink, you sit down," she said, kissing him on the cheek. "Do you want a beer Mike?"

He looked questioningly at Camilla who raised her eyebrow slightly. "Maybe just one, I gotta drive Camilla back into town later, that old rust bucket of hers barely rolled up here before the engine died."

"I can take a look at it if you want," Gibbs offered.

"It can wait probie, ain't nothin' a good sledgehammer wouldn't fix."

Abby snorted when Camilla rolled her eyes and shook her head before changing the subject. "You can turn the grill on now they're here, the salad's almost done."

Abby followed her inside, putting her goth bear on top of her bag before returning to the kitchen to help Camilla and get the drinks.

Quickly checking that Gibbs was still outside, Abby stood next to Camilla as she tossed the salad.

"Thank you for looking after him the other night," Abby said, repeating her gratitude from just moments ago. "I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to him."

"You've worked things out?" Camilla asked. "He was in a bad way, as were you I can imagine."

Abby opened the fridge and got out a beer for Mike, seeing Camilla already had a drink she picked up two bottles of water for her and Gibbs.

"Once we both admitted our feelings things changed...almost instantly," Abby said wistfully as if only just realizing it herself. "It won't all be smooth sailing, but I know he loves me just as much as I love him and that's all I ever wanted."

Camilla smiled and reached out to gently rest her hand on Abby's arm. "He's a good man, you're very lucky Abby, to have someone who loves you so much that he'd do anything for you."

"He...umm...he told you about me when he was with you?" She asked nervously.

Camilla chuckled and began slicing up more vegetables for their salad. "Once I could get him to talk, he talked about nothing else. I've discovered that Gibbs doesn't say something unless he means it, him being drunk the other night merely gave him the strength to say the things he couldn't tell you...until now I hope?"

Abby nodded. "We're working on it, together. We both made mistakes but as long as we remember to keep talking to each other I think we'll be okay."

Camilla took a step back to look out through the door, the sound of Mike's raspy voice carrying through the cabin enough to give the two women a small amount of privacy.

"When he was trying to convince me to bring him out here in the middle of the night, he said if he lost you he wouldn't survive this time...he said he'll always love Shannon but he couldn't live without you."

Abby felt her chest tighten, her eyes beginning to glaze over with unshed tears. She felt Camilla's hand rest on her arm as she fought for control of her emotions.

"By that time he was well and truly drunk, but I believe he meant every word of. Alcohol removes the filter we have in place to protect ourselves, or in Gibbs' case to keep his feelings under wraps. Accept everything he gives you Abby, sometimes he may not be able to say the words, but his feelings for you are very deep."

Abby put the drinks in her hands down on the kitchen counter and leaned forward against it. "Waking up next to him, going on our first proper date, and feeling like we're slowly starting to get back what we once had, I feel like I've waited an eternity for all this, for him, but he's worth it. If I can fall asleep at the end of each day knowing he's mine..."

She felt the gentle touch of his hand on her back seconds before he invaded her space, a soft kiss pressed next to her ear. "All yours," he whispered so only she could hear.

"I'll just go and check Mike's got the meat on cooking," Camilla said, leaving them alone.

Gibbs' other hand slid over Abby's stomach and she sighed and leaned into him.

"Thought you might need some help with dinner," Gibbs murmured, his breath caressing her cheek.

Abby turned in his embrace wondering how much he'd heard, but decided in the end it didn't matter, Camilla was right; Gibbs never said anything unless he meant it.

Lifting her hands, she framed his face within them. Ignoring what he'd said Abby brushed her lips over his before resting her forehead against his, avoiding the bruise and small lump that was still evident.

"I'm glad you're mine, so I can kiss you whenever I want," she smiled and swept her mouth over his once more, nibbling on his bottom lip.

"I can touch you whenever I want." Abby kissed him again, this time deeper, her tongue enticing his into a slow and erotic dance.

"I can tell you and show you how much you mean to me without feeling guilty or sad." When she kissed him the third time, Gibbs groaned into her mouth, his hands holding onto her waist as their lips and tongues began a heated exploration.

Abby didn't want to stop, apart from a quick kiss on the cheek or a brief one on the lips, she hadn't had the chance to really kiss him all day. She knew it probably wasn't the right time, with Mike and Camilla more than likely waiting for them, but the taste and feel of him was so hypnotizing she wanted to keep going until her lungs were completely starved of oxygen.

Slowing down the embrace, Abby languidly slid her tongue against Gibbs' before breaking the kiss.

"I may not remember everything I told her," Gibbs admitted, breathing heavily. "But I remember how I felt...how much I missed you, needed you, and how I never wanna feel like that again, Abbs."

"Man's not a camel you know." Mike's gruff voice carried in from outside, making both Gibbs and Abby laugh. "You wanna either bring me out my one and only beer probie, or make use of a perfectly good bed in there so I can come in and get it myself."

"You go take Mike his beer out," Abby said blushing and licking her swollen lips. "I'll help Camilla finish up in here."

Gibbs let his hands fall away from Abby and picked the beer up off the bench, as well as one of the bottles of water. Giving her a final kiss, the lop-sided grin that flickered across his lips made Abby's stomach flip and she couldn't help but let her eyes wander over him as he walked back outside.

* * *

Standing next to the grill as the meat cooked, Gibbs chuckled when Camilla came outside to ask Mike to round up two more chairs for them to sit on.

"Not only am I a love guru now, but I'm a furniture removalist as well," he grumbled, getting to his feet and disappearing inside.

"Ignore him," Camilla told Gibbs. "He's just not used to have more than one person here at a time."

"I know, though it turns out he did okay with the love guru bit...who would've seen that coming?" Gibbs smirked.

Using the small amount of bench space that was attached to the grill, Camilla put down the salad she and Abby had prepared and turned to Gibbs. "Your Abby is as wonderful as you made her out to be."

"Yeah...about that..." Gibbs started, shifting on his feet.

"What was said between you and I will stay that way, I just wanted to help her better understand. Things always seem different from an outside perspective."

"You're a bit of a love guru yourself," Gibbs joked turning his attention back to the grill. "Want you to know I'll always be grateful though."

"You both seem happy," Camilla pointed out. "Abby has not stopped smiling since you arrived."

"I guess it's early days yet, but I think we'll be okay."

Before they could go any further Mike stumbled out with two chairs from around the table inside and placed one on either side of the deck chairs. Abby joined them outside and the four of them chatted for the next several minutes until their steaks were cooked.

There was a steady flow of conversation throughout the evening, Gibbs happy to watch on as Abby interacted with Mike and Camilla, retelling some of her case related stories animatedly.

She was stretched back on one of the deck chairs, her hand resting on Gibbs' knee as he sat beside her on one of the chairs Mike had brought outside. He studied her profile in the subdued moonlight, her dark hair shimmering and her pale skin radiant. Her eyes were alight with excitement, her skin warm and soft on his.

Gibbs wondered how he'd ever managed to live without her in his life like this. His plummeting dive into self destruction had been painful, but if it had pushed him to the brink to enable him to have Abby now, it had at least been worth the anguish.

He couldn't wait to get her alone again, to run his hands over her and worship her body as she completely surrendered to him. Every nerve ending in his body had been teetering on the edge since he'd awoken to find her on top of him and now he was getting restless.

"I should probably get going, I have work tomorrow."

Camilla's voice broke into his thoughts and Gibbs looked away from Abby to find the other woman smiling at him.

While Mike went and got his keys for the truck, Gibbs and Abby said their goodbyes to Camilla, Abby giving her a hug just as eager as the one they'd exchanged on meeting.

"Look after each other," she said softly. "Perhaps next time you take holidays together you can spend some more time here."

"Gotta get probie to take holidays first," Mike scoffed as he walked from inside the cabin. "Although, I can't see it being as difficult anymore somehow."

Gibbs wrapped an arm around Abby's shoulder as they watched Mike and Camilla walk to the truck, then drive off into the darkness.

As soon as they were alone Gibbs turned to Abby and grinned, taking her hand in his. "Think it's time we made use of that perfectly good bed."

TBC...


	13. Releasing The Tension

**Chapter 13 – Releasing The Tension**

The second the bedroom door was closed Abby's hands were tugging on Gibbs' t-shirt as she tried to lift it over his head.

"Wanted you all day, Gibbs," she breathed, throwing the discarded t-shirt to the floor and running her fingers through the hair on his chest. "I wanna take it slow, but I need you."

Gibbs couldn't blame her reasoning; although he still felt slightly apprehensive about yielding to his desire for her so easily, the progress they'd made in the last two days told him their need for a physical release would never be the same as what it had been.

They were trying to let go of the past to make the future work, and that included breaking free of the trepidation that fast and furious sex meant that their relationship was headed for disaster.

"Gonna hold you all night Abbs," he reassured her, "don't have to worry any more remember, no need to fight against what you want."

Kissing him hungrily Abby pushed him back against the wall, her fingers flicking open the button of his shorts, the zipper quickly following. The pressure of him being pushed against the wall kept his shorts up, but not to be hindered by this, Abby snaked her hand into the front and began stroking him through his boxers.

Gibbs' head fell back with a thud as she massaged him, and before too long he felt the tightening pull in his groin as she gently teased him to life.

Trying to regain some of his focus, Gibbs lowered the zipper on Abby's dress, groaning into her heated kisses as he pushed the straps from her shoulders and followed the material the rest of the way down her body until it was pooled at her feet.

Gibbs' shorts dropped when he took a step forward, at the same time removing Abby's hand from where she was teasing him. His own hands quickly covered her ass and pulled her closer, grinding his hips into her and making her moan as the bulge in his boxers nudged against her.

When Gibbs was forced to break away from her mouth, they both staggered towards the bed, panting for air as much from their kisses as their pent up need.

Abby's bra was swiftly removed before they made it to the bed, Gibbs lavishing one of her perky nipples with his tongue, feeling it harden even further as he rolled it between his teeth.

"How long will Mike be gone?" Abby gasped, her fingers threading through his hair and holding him to her chest.

"Long enough," Gibbs mumbled against her skin. "Not stopping this time Abby, don't care if the walls fall down around us, gonna make you scream."

"Well, you know how loud I can get," Abby grinned impishly at him and took a step back, pushing her panties down her legs to stand naked in front of him.

"Loud enough to blow the walls out," he answered, his voice husky as he let his eyes travel over her.

Gibbs smoothed a hand over her hip, his free hand slipping between her thighs to ease a finger into her wetness. He was always surprised how Abby got so wet so fast, a surge of masculine pride stirring in him that he was able to arouse her so quickly.

Teasing her with his finger, he glided through her moist flesh, her scent surrounding him and intensifying with each gentle stroke. Abby's eyes clouded over, a soft whimper escaping her when she shivered and fought to remain upright.

Abby took hold of his wrist and moved his hand away from her. "You first, I owe you from this morning remember?"

Gibbs felt his heart pounding at the thought that he was about to be on the receiving end of the utter ecstasy Abby could inflict with her mouth. The memory of waking to find her on top of him, her lips and tongue all too willing to melt his brain out through his dick, enough to keep him on edge all day.

Sliding his boxers down over his erection, Abby smiled and ran her fingers along him before taking hold of his hands and climbing onto the bed. Gibbs lay back in the middle, parting his legs so Abby could lie down between them.

"Won't taste like cake anymore," Gibbs teased, referring to their exchange earlier that morning.

"It's not the cake I'm interested in...it's the filling."

He groaned at her words and the look of pure lust in her eyes. This was also one of the many other things that had been missing from their relationship over the last few weeks; the teasing and the flirting. They'd always been able to do that in the past, but not recently, and it was a part of their bond Gibbs was happy to see was returning.

Holding his breath, Gibbs shifted restlessly on the mattress when Abby lay down on her stomach, the obvious sign of his state of arousal mere inches from her face. He could feel her warm breath flowing over him, making him clench the sheet in his fingers in anticipation.

Raising and bending his knees slightly, Gibbs gripped onto the sheet with his toes as Abby's hot moist mouth enveloped him. She started with the tip, licking and suckling, her tongue driving him crazy as she swirled and curled it around and over him. It took all of his strength to not buck up against her, but apart from not wanting to hurt her, he wanted to let her take things at her own pace...even if it was torturing him in the process.

"Damn, Abbs..." he ground out, forcing his head back into the pillow when she tongued around the ridges of the sensitive head before her soft lips slid over the leaking pre-cum to taste him.

Gibbs tangled one of his hands in her hair as her lips slowly took a bit more of him in at a time, the other hand clenching onto the metal railing that went across the top of the bed.

When she began slowly moving up and down his throbbing cock, Gibbs watched on as she devoured him, unable to tear his gaze away from the sight of himself disappearing into her mouth.

It was one of the most erotic things he'd ever seen; his fingers clenched in her hair, his hips lifting gently as she went down on him.

He felt the familiar ache burning in his belly and searing a trail down to his groin as he gave into the sensations her lips, tongue and fingers were unleashing on his straining organ. She licked, nibbled, sucked and stroked until Gibbs thought he was going to bend the metal railing under the pressure from his grip.

Stopping her before he got too close to his climax, Gibbs took hold of her shoulders and pulled her up his body. She hovered above his engorged erection, readying herself to take him inside, but Gibbs' hands slid around her waist and urged her even further up his body.

Sitting on his chest, with her legs either side of him, Gibbs lifted his head off the pillow at the same time he brought her slickened folds closer to his mouth. Abby cried out as he plunged his tongue inside her, his fingers digging into her hips with each successive caress of her aching clit.

He heard her grip onto the metal railing at the top of the bed, lifting her body marginally higher so she could thrust her wet heat closer. Gibbs rested his lips on her swollen folds, his tongue darting out over and over again to taste her and draw out more of her wetness.

When he sensed she was as close as he was to the edge, Gibbs lowered her back down his body, holding her above his hardness as Abby guided him inside her.

Gibbs fought back the impulse to let his orgasm rush through him the instant he felt her muscles sheath around him, her body squeezing his thickness as every inch of him pushed inside.

"Oh...god...Jethro..." Abby's words were punctuated with loud moans as she rocked forward on him, the movement making Gibbs' eyes roll back.

"Can't hold on much longer Abbs..."

"Me either," Abby gasped, raising herself along his length before driving back down again.

Their rhythm picked up momentum with just a few long deep strokes of him inside her, Abby pounding down on him as Gibbs thrust up. The bed squeaked and shook underneath them, their movements this time much harder and faster than the previous day when they had taken things slow.

Abby's moans turned into desperate cries for completion and Gibbs hoped that Mike hadn't returned from taking Camilla home or else he'd never hear the end of it tomorrow. But he didn't want to stop her, her appreciation of her intense pleasure turning him on and adding to the feel of her sliding around him.

He took in harsh gasps of air as he watched her rise above him, her beautiful body sinuously undulating, her supple breasts bouncing and her mouth wide open as the sounds of her passion escaped unhindered.

Feeling the tension in his body reach the point where he could hold on no more, Gibbs sought out the tiny bundle of nerves between Abby's thighs pleading for more friction and circled it with his finger. Finding just the right amount of pressure, he groaned as her back arched and her fingers dug into his chest.

The throaty scream of his name that burst from between Abby's parted lips sent Gibbs over the edge, his body tensing and his vision blurring before he was overcome with shudders. He felt Abby clench around him as he came, her labored breathing filtering into his ears as her inner walls continued to spasm around him.

Abby fell forward on top of him, and Gibbs wrapped his arms around her, his hands gently stroking up and down her back.

Trembling through the aftershocks they held each other, Gibbs kissing every inch of her skin that he could reach, their sweat slickened bodies gradually calming and beginning to cool.

"Well that was...wow," Abby sighed once they'd both regained their ability to breathe.

"Uh huh," Gibbs agreed, a little lost for words himself.

"She said I was lucky," Abby murmured, her hand wandering over his chest. "Lucky is an understatement Gibbs..."

Gibbs angled his head so he could look into her eyes, uncertain of what she was talking about.

"Camilla," Abby continued. "She said I was lucky to have someone who loves me as much as you do...that you'd do anything for me."

Gibbs covered her cheek with the palm of his hand, pressing his lips to the top of her head when she nuzzled into his neck. "Course I'd do anything for ya, you should know that by now, Abbs."

"I do...I guess I'm just not used to someone else seeing it."

"I'm the lucky one in all this, coz I still have you...and I wouldn't let just anyone make me smell like baked pastries you know," he teased, tapping her ass playfully.

Abby lifted her head, a wide smile lighting up her face. "I can think of a few things you'd taste good with...I wonder if Mike has any ice cream."

TBC...


	14. Reflections

**Chapter 14 – Reflections**

She could smell him before her eyes were even open, his subtle yet masculine scent emanating off the pillow under her head and the sheet covering her body.

Rolling over, the warm body that Abby was expecting to snuggle into wasn't there. In his place, Gibbs had left the bear he'd won at the fair the day before, the small fluffy toy holding onto a single red rose.

A radiant smile spread out over her face, he'd known she'd be worried upon waking and finding him gone, his gesture not only instantly setting her mind at ease but also making her feel giddy. After what they'd shared the last couple of days, Abby no longer had the fear of waking up alone...it was more about the memories it evoked. Memories that he was beginning to replace with new ones.

Picking up the flower and pulling the bear to her chest she collapsed back against the mattress and sighed.

Her thoughts immediately turned to last night. Not long after she and Gibbs had fallen into an exhausted heap on the bed, they'd heard Mike return home and take some beers out of the fridge before heading back outside, closing the door behind him.

Abby and Gibbs had rested for a while as they talked quietly, also hoping that at the same time Mike was drinking enough to help him sleep...she still had plans for Gibbs.

Although they both still needed to catch up on sleep, Abby was reluctant to waste a single minute while they were away from their jobs. Because they didn't have to wake up early for work, she saw no reason why they shouldn't make the most of their time alone.

Getting up to use the bathroom once Mike had gone to bed, she'd put on one of Gibbs' t-shirts and diverted to the freezer to see if there was any ice cream. She'd returned to the bedroom with the half full container, the recollection of what happened afterwards enough to get Abby's heartbeat racing as she remembered the taste and texture of the cold creamy chocolate as she licked it off Gibbs' neck, chest, stomach, thighs and groin.

Gibbs had teased her about having a food fetish, but there were no complaints from him when she took his erection between her lips to tease him relentlessly. The coolness of the ice cream she'd had in her mouth against the heat of his throbbing flesh making him gasp until she generated even more heat with the friction of her tongue and lips up and down his hardness. His muffled groan of release as he'd exploded in her mouth had been all the proof she'd needed that he was enjoying every second of her current food fascination.

When he managed to recover he'd gladly returned the favor, but without the ice cream since Abby had used it all. His fingers had sent her into a prolonged state of bliss, her moans stifled into his hungry kisses as he slowly worked her up to her orgasm before she splintered apart. Biting into his shoulder, his thumb had given her the right amount of pressure where she so desperately needed it, two of his fingers pushing deep inside her as she collapsed into a boneless, satisfied heap.

Reaching over to the bedside table she checked the time on Gibbs' watch...it was after noon. Realizing that was probably the reason Gibbs wasn't next to her, Abby got out of bed and put on one of his t-shirts and a pair of her own shorts.

Picking up the rose before she opened the bedroom door, Abby heard the sounds of hammering getting louder with each step she took. She blinked against the brightness of the sun when she stepped outside, turning to find Gibbs up on a ladder leaning against the roof.

She took in the sight of his exposed legs, visible from the knees down below his shorts, his calf muscles tensed as they kept him upright on the ladder. She watched his forearms flex with the movement of pulling out several nails, a fine sheen of sweat glistening on his skin.

"Thought you were gonna sleep all day," Mike grinned from where he sat on the deck chair watching Gibbs work, the sound of his voice interrupting her ogling.

Gibbs twisted and looked over his shoulder, taking the several steps down to porch level and grinning as he took in her sleepy appearance.

"Didn't wake you did I?"

"Nope, though maybe you should've, I didn't realize it was so late."

She watched Mike recline back on his chair, tilting the hat on his head so it covered his eyes as well. She knew it was an attempt to give them some privacy, and even if he could still hear most of what they said Abby appreciated the gesture.

Gibbs walked over to her, placing a soft kiss next to her ear, his hands resting on either side of her waist when he whispered. "Guess I wore you out."

Abby leaned into his chest and sighed contently. "You did more than that."

If Mike hadn't been sitting just a few feet away she would've told Gibbs exactly how much last night meant to her. Although there had been desperation in their actions at first, there was a sensuality and playfulness that had remained through the entire night. It made her happy to know that every aspect between them was progressing beyond it just being about the sex. The more time they spent together, the more they were getting back their sense of self, and each other.

"There's some breakfast in the fridge for you...pastries from the bakery in town," he teased, bumping his nose against hers. "Seems like you can't get enough of sweet things at the moment."

Abby felt heat rise in her cheeks, then the realization hit her that he'd obviously been awake a while.

"You've been into town?" she asked surprised.

"Thought I should replace the ice cream we used and get you something decent for breakfast, there's fruit salad in the fridge too."

"That when you got this?" She asked, holding the rose up to her nose.

Gibbs kissed her forehead when she bent forward slightly. "Yeah...they didn't have black ones."

"It's from you so that's all that matters." Abby paused and quickly glanced behind her to see if Mike still had his eyes covered, though she knew that wouldn't prevent him from hearing her if he tried hard enough. "You had a shower yet?"

Gibbs' grin widened. "Kinda had to before I went out...was a bit sticky."

It was no wonder, Abby thought to herself, she'd done her best to lick every drop of ice cream from his body but the temptation to move from one spot to another had been too great.

Abby returned his smile and pressed her lips to his to quietly whisper. "Shame...I could've used some company."

Moving out of his arms she tapped the rose lightly to the center of his chest and walked away, leaving Gibbs staring after her.

Mike's gravelly chuckle caught Gibbs' attention as Abby wandered inside, the older man lifting the hat away from his eyes to look at Gibbs.

"You're gonna have your hands full with that one probie, might have to increase your coffee intake so you can stay awake and keep up with her."

Gibbs walked over to the doorway, watching Abby as she walked towards the bedroom. "She makes me feel younger," he admitted as Abby disappeared from view, "more alive."

"I'm not surprised," Mike snorted.

Gibbs sat down in the vacant chair next to him, ignoring his friend's amusement. "Didn't think I could feel like this again...feel this much..."

Sitting up, Mike swung his legs over the side of his chair to face Gibbs, throwing his hat down beside him.

"That's a good thing Gibbs, she's one of a kind...beautiful, smart, energetic, caring, I could go on and on probie, but you know this already. There's not many women who'd put up with what you put her through, they would've left ya to fend for yourself."

Gibbs knew there was only one other woman that had known him as well as Abby did. His exes would've never accepted being treated the same way he treated Abby, but then he'd never loved them as much...never been confused and tormented by deep feelings for them like he had been with Abby...or Shannon.

He'd always thought Shannon would be the love of his life, no matter what happened, and maybe she was, but now he knew with absolute certainty that he felt the same about Abby.

The feeling of not wanting to be separated from her, spending what felt like every moment thinking about her, and needing to do anything to make her happy...to make her his, were emotions Gibbs hadn't felt for a long time.

All the other relationships he'd had since losing Shannon had just been so he wouldn't be alone, and to try and help him heal. They were doomed to fail from the start because Gibbs had never really wanted them to work. They had all been substitutes for someone that could never be replaced.

Those women would never have risked everything to be with him, but Abby was different. His need to be with her wasn't spurred on by a desire to compensate for something he'd lost, nor did Gibbs see her as a substitute. She had become the keeper of his heart purely by being herself, and he loved her in a way he never expected to love again.

"She's special and she's mine..." Gibbs said under his breath as if only just realizing it.

Breaking out of his thoughts he looked at Mike, a satisfied grin flickering on his mentor's face before he spoke.

"Yeah she is, whatever you're doing is makin' her happy so don't screw it up now." Mike patted Gibbs on the shoulder lightly, quickly glancing behind him to make sure Abby wasn't there. "You talked to her about Shannon and Kelly yet?"

"Not yet," Gibbs sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I will...just don't wanna upset her."

"You won't probie, show her that photo you keep in your wallet and tell her about them. Tell her how important they were to you, and still are, share them with her. If Abby knows how much you love her then it'll mean more to her that you're sharing it, you just said yourself she's special. Don't hide Shannon and Kelly away in boxes for the rest of your life, let Abby help ya remember them."

Gibbs had always thought of his girls as his dirty little secret; the two most important people in his life that he couldn't talk about. But he wanted their memories to live on and for them to be a part of him always, just as Abby was now. He also needed to let Abby see that side of him, one that he'd been forced to keep hidden for so long.

"I'll talk to her this afternoon, maybe go for a walk on the beach, wanna do it before we go back home tomorrow and get snowed under with work stuff."

As difficult as Gibbs thought it was going to be to open old wounds, the fact that it was Abby he was dredging up the past with and making himself even more vulnerable with made him feel more at ease. He knew Abby wouldn't use his feelings against him like others had done, he just hoped she could accept that he would always love Shannon, and that she would also realize he felt just as strongly for her.

TBC...

* * *

A/N: *tag*...okay this time it really is gosgirl's turn :p


	15. Sharing Memories

A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews and feedback...only one more chapter to go after this one...

* * *

**Chapter 15 - Sharing Memories**

After she'd had a shower, Abby ate some of the food Gibbs had brought back from his trip into town and made them some sandwiches. She took them outside along with a beer for Mike and a water for Gibbs, who still had an aversion for alcohol after his hangovers.

Coming back down off the ladder Gibbs sat on the chair next to Mike and pulled Abby down to sit on his lap. She sat sideways across his legs, a hand resting on his knee, which every so often wandered down his leg to comb through the rough hairs.

She knew Gibbs wasn't usually big on public displays of affection, but because it was Mike and he understood what they'd been through, Abby felt like they could be themselves without having to hide certain things. When they returned home they would still have to be careful of how they behaved at work, even if everyone did know about them, so it was nice to be able to touch him now and not have to think about whether there was going to be any consequences.

"How much longer do you think you'll be fixing the roof?" Abby asked as Gibbs took one of the sandwiches off her plate.

He spread his free hand out over her back, gently rubbing his thumb along the indentation of her spine. "It's done, was just replacing some of it that was damaged. Why? Something you wanna do?"

"No, I just thought since this is our last afternoon here we could spend it together...with Mike too," she added hastily, watching as he rolled his eyes at her.

"Me and my friend here are just fine," Mike smiled at her, holding up his beer.

"It's a calm afternoon, not too warm...we can go for a walk if you want," Gibbs suggested, thinking it was a good a time as any to bring up what was on his mind.

"I'd like that, it'll give me a chance to work off some of my recent sugar intake," she kissed his cheek before whispering, "though I think you've already helped out with that."

They finished off their lunch in comfortable silence, Abby taking a close interest in the way Gibbs ate his sandwich. She didn't miss the slight redness in his cheeks as she scrutinized him, nor the way his eyes sparkled as she wordlessly teased him.

When Mike disappeared inside to get another drink and use the bathroom Abby took the opportunity to lean into Gibbs and place a trail of gentle kisses up the side of his neck which led to his mouth. It was their first real kiss since the early hours of the morning, and as their lips gently brushed together Abby wondered whether she'd be able to stop before Mike came back out.

Even though their relationship had been purely physical before Mexico, Abby found that now she had Gibbs the way she wanted him it added a whole new dimension to the depth of her desire for him. While she'd found it difficult to quench her need for him before, strengthening their emotional bond had only intensified it. She wasn't sure that she'd ever get enough of him.

"Wish we could stay here a bit longer," Abby sighed, when their lips broke apart.

"You're not missing everyone?"

"Don't have time to with you here," she grinned, resting her forehead against his. "I guess I am missing them, just don't wanna have to leave all this behind."

"We won't, it'll be different this time. Everything I've said, all that we've shared, it means something Abbs, won't hurt you again."

"I know, and it means something to me too. It just feels like our own little world here." She framed his face in her hands, searching his eyes and finding the reassurance she needed so she could continue. "But I'm ready Gibbs, ready for us to go home and continue what we started, together. We're stronger now, not two of us fumbling around trying to feel whole with only pieces of each other's hearts, we are whole...at least that's how I feel..."

"Feel whole too."

Abby smiled at his words, her excitement and relief impossible to hide as he drew her into another kiss until the sound of Mike clearing his throat when he returned forced them to break apart.

"Can't leave you two alone for five minutes," he smirked, shaking his head as he sat back down.

* * *

A short while later Abby was walking along the beach beside Gibbs, her hand held within his larger one. He'd been quiet for a while, and every now and then she'd glance at him to try and read his expression, but for the first time in two days he was unreadable.

"Jethro...are you okay?" she asked softly.

He turned to her and forced a smile, squeezing her hand at the same time. "Yeah, Abbs, just thinkin'."

Indecision rushed through her; should she push him a little and try and urge him to talk about something that was obviously bothering him, or should she just let it go and leave it to him to decide when to talk?

"What about?" she finally asked hesitantly.

Gibbs was silent for a moment, his feet splashing at the water's edge as they continued to walk. Abby felt nerves flutter in her stomach when he stopped and pulled her closer, taking hold of her other hand. Abby looked down at her bare feet now surrounded by water as each wave rushed up onto the shore.

When she met his gaze Abby held her breath, scared from his almost sad expression that she wasn't going to like what he was about to say.

"You, me...us..." He lifted a hand to caress the side of her face, signing 'my girl' on her cheek. "Wanna share my other girls with you."

Abby slid her free hand around his waist, whispering "you do?" as she let go of the breath she'd been holding.

"They'll always be a part of me...want you to understand why."

She'd hoped at some stage he'd be willing to talk about the wife and child he lost, and why he kept them so close to his chest, but Abby had never imagined that it would come up so soon. The fact that he was prepared to try and discuss it with her now meant that he thought what was happening between them really was serious; he was making the effort to share this part of himself that he'd been keeping locked away.

"Okay," she breathed, suddenly lost for words.

Dropping his hand from her face he reached into the back pocket of his shorts and pulled out his wallet, taking a small photo out from one of the compartments. He handed it to her and Abby took it, biting her lip to fight back tears when she saw the three smiling faces looking back at her. It looked like they were sitting up against a tree, Gibbs leaning back with his arm around Shannon, and Kelly lying sideways across them.

"When I lost them, I lost everything I cared about...I wasn't ready to say goodbye."

Abby could tell he was struggling to find the right words and she placed her hand over his heart, feeling it pounding underneath.

"Gibbs, it's okay, you don't need to explain. I've seen the way some cases hit you harder than others and I know why now...it's okay that you still love them."

He reached out and took the photo from her, looking at it before putting it away again.

"Don't think I'll ever really get over what happened, but you're a part of me too now and you're always gonna be..." he trailed off and looked out onto the ocean, trying to regain his composure before he looked back at her and continued. "I love you Abbs, more than anything, and I wanna be with you, but I need to know that you're okay, really okay, with this...with them."

Without thinking Abby threw her arms around him, closing her eyes as she linked her arms tightly behind his neck. "They're part of the reason you're the man you are Gibbs, how could I not be okay with that? I don't expect you to share everything about them with me but I don't want you to feel like you have to keep Shannon and Kelly to yourself."

"Have up until now...with the others."

Abby heard him swallow loudly, his arms encircling her waist as he gently rubbed his cheek against hers. Ever since she'd found out about Shannon and Kelly she'd wondered how he'd been able to keep their lives, and deaths, to himself. She'd couldn't help but think how he managed to survive something so horrific and still be the kind of man he was.

"Well not anymore" she reassured him. "I don't know what your ex-wives told you or what they expected from you Gibbs, but I know it's impossible to stop loving someone that's your whole world...I'd never ask you to do that."

For so long she'd tried to stop loving him. Even before they started sleeping together Abby had fought against her feelings for Gibbs, but it had been pointless. She had found out the hard way that there were some emotions that couldn't be turned off, no matter how much she tried.

How could she, or anyone for that matter, expect Gibbs to stop loving the two people he'd been closest to, simply because they had been taken from him?

"You've been worrying about this?" She asked softly, even though she suspected what his answer would be.

"A little...it's been a problem in the past. Need to make it right with you, don't want it to be a reason for things going wrong."

Pulling back from his embrace slightly Abby rested her forehead against his. "I'm not going anywhere. All I want is to be a part of your life Gibbs, I'm not going to push you away coz you love them, we've already tried to be without each other and I can't do that again."

Abby didn't pretend to understand the strength of the relationship Gibbs had with his wife and daughter, and even if he would never be able to love her in the same way she was happy with what they were building between them now.

"Don't wanna be without you again either. Want you to understand I can't forget them but the way I feel about you..."

When he turned his face off to the side and looked down at the ground, Abby watched his jaw flex as he clenched his teeth. She wanted to help him get the words out but knew this was something he felt like he had to do, not only for himself but for them.

After a moment he lifted a hand to run the back of it down the side of her face, his knuckles gently grazing over her skin.

"You're more important to me than anything Abby, how I feel about them doesn't change how I feel about you."

"And how you feel about them doesn't change how I feel about you, I'm okay with it Gibbs, really I am."

She leaned forward to kiss him tenderly, sighing and leaning into him when their lips separated. Gibbs took her in his arms again, resting his head against hers as she held onto him tightly.

"Wanna share 'em with you," he said quietly, "it's taken a while to get some of the memories back that I lost, but they're slowly coming back."

"That what Mike helped you with over the summer?"

"Yeah, it felt like I lost Shannon and Kelly twice, trying to work through all the pain again...don't think I'll ever be able to repay him for helping me to get through it."

While Abby adored Mike she had wondered what had happened between the two men that had enabled them to establish such a solid and open friendship. Although they teased and taunted each other, it was easy to see they were close. If Mike had been the one to save Gibbs and get him through the tough times, then that was another reason for her to be grateful that the retired agent was in Gibbs' life.

"He's saved my sanity and my life...more than once," Gibbs admitted.

"Guess that gives him license to be the only one to call you probie?"

Gibbs smiled and pressed his lips to her forehead. "Yep...it's about loyalty and respect, the kind that comes from years of getting to know and understand each other."

"I'm glad he's been there for you Gibbs, you deserve that, to have people look after you."

"And now I have you."

He took hold of her hand and began walking back towards the cabin, the concern that had been etched on his face beginning to dissipate.

"Yep, and I'll always be there for you," Abby grinned, happiness flooding through her at the realization that if Gibbs was willing to share a little bit at a time with her they'd be alright.

She also had a lot she wanted to share with him about her past and what she wanted for their future, but every day it seemed like they were going to be taking these steps together; revealing things about themselves and gaining back the closeness that had once allowed them to go to one another with anything.

They'd seen each other at their worst, at their most vulnerable and desolate, and now that they'd made it through Abby knew they could make it through anything if they were open and honest.

With every touch, every look, and every word, their lives were changing and the walls were coming down. And with each and every promise they made Abby couldn't help but be overcome with a sense of belonging...a feeling that the man she'd been waiting to be with for so long had finally found his way to her.

TBC...


	16. Going Home

A/N: Here's the final chapter, thanks again for all the wonderful reviews and for reading, and special thanks to gosgirl as always for kicking my ass when I needed it...hugs and cookies! :)

* * *

**Chapter 16 – Going Home**

Once Gibbs and Abby had finished their walk they returned to Mike's cabin, all three of them sitting outside to chat and eat dinner together. They stayed up late into the night to make the most of the time they had left with Mike, both Abby and Gibbs conscious that their time away together was slowly coming to an end.

When they retired to bed sometime after midnight, Gibbs watched from the bed as Abby stripped off to just her panties and slipped one of his t-shirts over her head.

"I'm gonna miss Mike," she sighed as she eased in under the covers and cuddled up to Gibbs.

She hummed in appreciation at the feel of one of his bare legs nudging between hers, the softness of his boxers and t-shirt drawing her attention as her hands wandered over his chest and her thigh rubbed against his.

"We can come back and visit," he reassured her as he reached over to switch off the bedside lamp.

"I'd like that," Abby mumbled, yawning at the same time.

She really wanted to make the most of their last night here, but her intention to slowly torment Gibbs with her mouth and hands before giving in to their desires was being waylaid by her need for sleep.

"Must've really worn you out last night, you slept half the day and you're still tired," Gibbs teased.

Abby smiled and sought out his lips in the semi darkness, their arms and legs tangling together much like they had done the last several nights. Their kiss was gentle and full of promise, Abby softly nibbling on his bottom lip before her head came to rest on the pillow beside his.

"I might be tired now, but we don't leave until late tomorrow morning."

Gibbs chuckled and angled his head up so he could kiss her flickering eyelids.

"Sleep Abbs, we've got time, not only tomorrow but for a long while after that."

Rolling over, she felt Gibbs spoon behind her, his large frame surrounding her and protecting her, even as they rested. She linked her fingers with his where they settled on her stomach, sighing happily when he pressed several kisses to her neck.

"I'm glad I stayed," Abby admitted, letting her eyes drift closed. "Love you more every day Gibbs."

"Me too Abbs, gonna do my best to show you that."

"You already have."

The last thing she heard before sleep claimed her was the whispered words of endearment he'd signed to her earlier that day.

"My girl."

* * *

When Abby woke the next morning feeling rested and refreshed, she snuggled with Gibbs in bed for a while before realizing they needed to get up and start packing to leave.

After being temporarily stalled in the bedroom doorway, Gibbs pushing her up against the hard surface to kiss her until she was breathless, Abby went for a shower while he went to make them some coffee.

Abby sighed and closed her eyes as the warm water cascaded down over her body. She raised her arms, weaving her fingers through her hair and enjoying the feel of the water gently massaging her head.

When a large hand slipped around her waist from behind Abby jumped, a startled yelp turning into a moan when his solid, and extremely naked body pressed up against her.

"Thought you were making coffee?" She grinned over her shoulder.

"I was, but I decided I needed you more."

"Wow, it must be love," she teased, moving her hands from where they'd been in her hair to reach behind her and hold onto either side of his head, her fingers scrapping through the short hair above his ears.

Gibbs wasted no time in making it perfectly clear what he wanted, his hand easing down over her stomach, his fingers taking a direct path between her legs to begin teasing her. His palm cupped her while his middle finger delved into her, Abby instinctively beginning to grind down on it. She gasped as he slowly stroked her, the steady pulse and dampness between her thighs quickly increasing when another finger joined in the teasing and circled around her entrance before nudging in.

It had never taken him long to get her aroused and the feel of him wrapped around her, his firm chest pressing into her back and his hips molded around her ass only helped to add to the rising temperature within the shower.

Gibbs' free hand covered one of her breasts, palming her nipple as the rosy bud hardened. Abby was sure she was going to lose it, the duel sensations of his fingers sliding in her heat and gently pushing inside, combined with his hand massaging her breast had her rubbing against him and sending her hurtling towards the edge.

Her hands dropped her hold on his head to lay flat against the wall of the shower, her upper body leaning forward to keep her upright as she gave herself up completely to his touches, rocking steadily on his skilled fingers.

It wasn't long before she felt Gibbs' hardness nudge against her backside, and she tried to time the gyrations of her hips so his thumb circled her clit in the same motion as his erection bumped against her ass. The rhythm of her motions quickly became fast and erratic, all her energy going into generating more friction between her body and Gibbs' hand.

"Jethro...I'm gonna come," she panted, "oh god...just a few more..."

Before she had chance to see her orgasm through Gibbs removed his fingers and turned her around. Grasping onto her arms he urged her to take a step towards the back wall of the shower, the spray of water now only hitting their legs.

"Need to feel you around me," Gibbs growled, his eyes ablaze with lust.

Abby took in the sight of him, beads of water smattered through his chest hair, a tiny rivulet running between his pecs and down the line of hair that lead to his groin. Her gaze settled on his hardened length; swollen, curved and shiny from the water spray. She reached out and stroked him with her fingers, feeling him throb under her touch.

His entire body was flushed and heaving. Slick with water his muscles and tanned skin glistened, his straining erection weeping as she gently massaged over the head.

Gibbs smoothed his hand teasingly up her thigh, lifting her leg up over his hip before hoisting her up and pinning her against the wall. Abby was forced to drop her hand from him in the process, but she linked both behind his neck, her fingers grazing higher and into his hair.

His hands held onto her ass, holding her in place as he slid his hardness along her folds, parting them as he coated himself with her juices. Abby couldn't contain the loud moan that escaped her, each brush of his cock over her clit causing the pulsing emanating from her core to surge through the rest of her body.

Brushing her lips over his, Abby tasted the lingering saltiness of his sweat, brought on by the humidity in the small room. Her kisses were hot and hungry, tasting him in one wet open mouthed kiss after another, their tongues tangling and lips caressing.

As their kisses continued Gibbs slowly pushed inside her, Abby's head falling back against the wall, her chest thrust out as inch by inch her body took him in, welcoming the intrusion. Her muscles quivered around him and Abby deliberately flexed them, squeezing him tighter once he was completely buried within her.

Gibbs groaned, his hips involuntarily jerking against her. "Jeez, Abbs...not gonna last long if you keep that up."

Abby clenched her eyes shut, savoring the feel of him inside her. She blocked everything out except the way he throbbed inside her, his breath warm against her ear as he braced their weight against the wall.

"You feel so good, Abby."

She opened her eyes and covered his lips with her own, her tongue gaining entrance into his mouth, sliding in and out, imitating the act she wanted him to carry out on her body.

Gibbs instantly started to move in her, his fingers digging into her hips as he slowly started to thrust into her. Abby held his gaze when the kiss came to an end, their intense exchange not faltering as her deep breathing and soft whimpers had Gibbs picking up speed as he drove into her.

Abby moved her legs slightly higher up his back and the altered angle let Gibbs slip in deeper, her moan this time echoing in the steamy bathroom. She was certain if Mike was either awake or a light sleeper he would've heard, but she didn't care, Gibbs had her dangling on the edge and all she cared about was the way he was plunging into her.

She felt like she couldn't get enough air into her lungs, her body's sole purpose to focus on the all consuming pleasure he was giving her, each of Gibbs' strokes accompanied by a grunt as their bodies slid together.

When Gibbs started describing what he was going to do to her once he got her home in his bed later that night, how he'd have her boneless and exhausted and begging for more, Abby bucked against him frantically, spasming around him when her climax surged through her.

She bit down on his shoulder to muffle her scream, feeling Gibbs stoke into her several more times before he groaned his release into her neck.

When Abby managed to regain some of her bearings all she was aware of was the weight of Gibbs against her and the trembling that emanated between her legs sending tiny shudders through her body.

Gibbs covered her face and neck with kisses, his hot breath skimming across her damp skin as she loosely clung to him, her legs barely able to stay wrapped around him.

"Wanna go back to bed with you now," Abby grinned against his lips.

"We can do that as soon as we get home," Gibbs assured her, a gasp escaping her as he slipped from her body.

"Good, coz you've got some promises to keep."

She couldn't wait for him to make good on the confident declarations he'd made just moments ago, but a part of her was also uncertain about what would happen once their plane landed in DC. When Gibbs said 'home' did that mean he wanted her to stay with him...all night? Even after all they'd talked about Abby was still slightly nervous that things would remain the same once they left Mexico.

"Umm...Gibbs...Jethro..." she started hesitantly as they began to wash each other. "When you say home, does that mean I can stay with you, like straight from the airport and not leave until work tomorrow?"

"Thought we covered this Abbs, no more running remember...we're not going back to the way things were before. Want you to stay with me all night, or we can stay at your apartment if you want. Don't care where we are, just as long as we're together."

"Wanna go home with you," she admitted, her hands running over his wet chest.

The lop sided grin Gibbs gave her had Abby kissing him instantly, their embrace cut short when they heard Mike's voice on the other side of the closed door.

"If you two have finished your last hurrah in there you might wanna get a move on, coz I sure as hell ain't driving you home when you miss your flight."

Abby snorted when Gibbs rolled his eyes. "He's about as subtle as an aircraft carrier."

The prospect of missing their flight forced them to quickly finish washing so they could have a bite to eat before packing the last of their things.

Squashing some of her clothes into Gibbs' bag when she ran out of room in her own, Abby looked down on the bear he'd won for her sitting on top.

They'd created lots of new memories to start them off on their new life together and every time she looked at the small teddy, she'd be reminded of their time here. It was a comforting and amazing feeling...one Abby intended to hold on to.

* * *

An hour later they stood on the curb outside the airport check-in. Mike helped Gibbs get their luggage out of the back of the truck, a sense of sadness falling over Abby when the two men stood in front of her.

She threw her arms around Mike's neck, pulling him into a tight hug. "Gonna miss you, Mike."

Mike wrapped his arms around her and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. "Me too, little lady, but you're always welcome here, you know that."

"Thank you, for everything...I'll look after him," she whispered, before pulling back with unshed tears in her eyes.

Mike nodded, a knowing smile curving on his lips. "I know ya will."

What could she ever say to the man who had helped give her and Gibbs their lives back and make it possible for them to start to build a future together? Any words would seem inadequate. Abby just hoped Mike knew how grateful she was, and how she'd never forget what he'd done to bring them together.

Abby stepped back to give the two men a chance to say goodbye, watching on as Gibbs took a hold of Mike's hand to shake it and drew him into a one armed hug.

"There's some things I won't ever be able to repay you for," she heard Gibbs softly say.

"No need, probie." Mike lightly patted Gibbs on the back before they took a step back from each other. "I'm lookin' at all the thanks I need."

Picking up both their bags, Gibbs smiled at Abby and she linked her arm around his elbow. "Ready to go?"

She nodded and looked at Mike over her shoulder as they began walking into the terminal, his face lighting up as he watched them go.

Looking ahead she moved a little closer to Gibbs, holding his arm tighter. She couldn't help but think how much things had changed since she'd been at the same airport just days ago. When she arrived, she'd never felt more alone or more lost, but since then she'd begun to find her way with Gibbs and she felt more complete than she could ever remember.

Abby had gone from nothing to everything and the man beside her was the one responsible for that. Her bruised and battered heart was healing and the huge void in her soul that had been present for so long was now gone.

Turning to look at Gibbs, she could see the same happiness and relief was evident in his sparkling blue eyes and his lop sided grin. She leaned over to kiss his cheek, letting his nearness completely wash over her as she whispered into his ear.

"Take me home, Gibbs."

The End.


End file.
